Blue Ice
by Nurse Betty Page
Summary: Missy, mixed up with Daleks and a plan to flood Earth with a deadly drug, runs into the Doctor and Rose - and when the Doctor is injured in a bombing, grabs the chance to hook Rose on the drug. When the Doctor recovers and finds out what she has done, he vows to track down Missy to make her pay - not knowing she is a future version of the Master, who he believes to be dead...
1. Chapter 1

**Blue Ice**

 **Author Note: This is an AU fic that sees the Tenth Doctor and Rose encounter Missy before the Doctor knows the Master is still alive.**

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 **Summary:**

 **Missy is in trouble, in too deep in a deal with the Daleks to help them take control of Earth. But Missy's plan to deliver a case containing the most addictive drug in the universe to terrorists to turn the planet into addicts falls apart when it is revealed the Judoon are already hunting down the terrorists – and so she decides to lie low for a while - but then she crosses paths with the Doctor and Rose, at a time when the Doctor still believes he is the last of his kind and is yet to encounter Harold Saxon.**

 **When the terrorists unexpectedly strike and the Doctor and Rose are caught up in the explosion, the Doctor is injured protecting Rose, and before he can explain what will happen, puts himself into a coma to repair the damage, leaving Rose thinking the worst instead of realising he has complete control over the situation. When rescue comes, Rose is surprised to find the rescuers are not human but Judoon – because the intergalactic police are keen to speak to all witnesses to track down the terrorists, and Rose and the Doctor are taken from the wreckage to a Judoon ship.**

 **On arriving it is clear all who were present at the time of the attack are also on board – and Rose is questioned and then told she is allowed to leave – with the Doctor, who it seems is in a deep coma. It is then Rose meets a human medic on board the ship who calls herself Missy, who offers to escort them back to Earth. Feeling shattered by all that has happened,Rose is only too glad of some help and support from Missy, who seems to be so _very_ kind and understanding...**

 **Missy becomes a close friend to Rose, supporting her as she worries for the Doctor, and it is then she introduces her to a drug called Blue Ice, which she assures her will take the edge off _everything_ and is completely harmless... At first Rose believes her and is thankful for the lift the drug gives – until Missy makes a sudden unexpected and unwelcome move on Rose asking for a _'proper kissy for Missy'_ – then she realises her new friend is not what she seems. Then Missy leaves, telling her if the Doctor ever wakes up he will have more than enough to worry about to keep him busy for the rest of his life, now he is stuck with a drug addict girlfriend.**

 **After Missy leaves, Rose finds she is a slave to the drug, and manages to hide it from her mother whilst she looks after the Doctor, even though Jackie wonders how her daughter can be coping so _very_ well considering the circumstances.**

 **Then the Doctor wakes from the coma, and explains to Rose that his life was never in danger – that he put himself to sleep in order to heal - an alternative to regenerating.**

 **Whilst Rose is relieved the man she loves is recovered, she is also terrified he will find out her secret, that while he was sleeping she has become dependent on an alien drug - and soon she can't hide it any longer, and when the Doctor finds out Rose was turned into an addict, he places her on a detox program - and then he vows to track down the woman named Missy and show her what the wrath of a TimeLord truly means...**

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 **Rated T**

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 **Warnings: Contains scenes of (alien) drug taking and subject matter regarding addiction. Also some violence and an emotional story line.**

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 **Disclaimer: I own nothing and write for love of the fandom.**

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Chapter 1

 _Missy was running._

A metallic case was in one hand, her boarding pass for the shuttle that would take her back to the planet where she had left her Tardis in the other. Her boots clicked impatiently on the polished floor of the terminal as she dashed towards the queue waiting to board, and then she stopped, slightly breathless and bumped sharply into a pregnant woman standing in front of her.

"Move!" she said impatiently, "I _must_ get on that shuttle!"

The woman glared at her.

"Don't shove me, I'm pregnant!"

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Well you chose to pop out a brat, _not_ my problem! And seats on that flight are limited, back of the queue has to wait for the next one if its full! _And I'm too good to stand here and wait for a bloody bus!_ "

A young man standing in front of the woman turned around and stared at her.

"Then why did you choose economy?"

 _Because they don't scan hand luggage_ , she thought to herself as she looked at him.

"I'm _distraught! I'm a widow! I've only been a widow for twenty minutes!_ "

And the others in the queue looked curiously at the woman in Victorian clothing, whose right hand carried the faint trace of a blood stain.

Missy pulled a lace handkerchief from her pocket and began to weep into it.

"I would have thought, as this planet is an Earth colony, that you people would show _some_ compassion! Let me on board first, I _have_ to get away..."

She sobbed again, and then as people began to step aside, she put the handkerchief away and shoved her way to the front.

"That's more like it!" she said gleefully, and slapped her boarding pass on the desk.

"Will you be returning?" asked the woman who checked her pass.

Missy recalled how it all started:

 _An unfortunate encounter with Daleks, a promise to hand them ownership of Earth in return for her freedom, a plan to steal a case of addictive Blue Ice and a drug replication machine... It had been awful, gaining the attention of a known drug lord and then enticing him into a romance and then a marriage that had lasted four hours and ten minutes and the few seconds it took to stab him to death, and to then to take the case and run._

 _What a day..._

"No," Missy replied, "I won't be coming back. Ever!"

And then she snatched the pass from the woman's hand and walked through to the boarding area, breathing a sigh of relief to think soon she would be far from this place, with just a little favour to carry out on earth – and then she would be gone, and she would never look back...

The Daleks had placed terrorist cells on Earth, and they were ready to receive the drug and the replicator. But she was damned if she wasn't going to demand _heavy_ expenses for her trouble when she got there...

* * *

Far away on Earth, it was early morning and Rose Tyler was wide awake, in her bedroom with sunlight streaming through the window. The bedroom door was closed but through it she heard her mum in the kitchen making breakfast, and she felt glad to be home for a few days, because as exciting as it was to travel in the Tardis, it was always good to come home again.

And it was even better that the Doctor was sleeping beside her...

She smiled as she turned on her side and looked at him as he lay there on his back, his eyes closed as he slept peacefully. She brushed a strand of dark hair out of his eyes and kissed his cheek. It was a perfect moment, as she looked at him and watched him stir in his sleep and turn his head slightly as she took in the sight of just how handsome he was... a TimeLord, her friend and now her lover. _This was perfect._

She ran her hand over his chest very lightly and whispered to him that she was getting up.

"Yeah...me too, in a minute..." he murmured, and then he turned over, breathing softly against the pillow as he slept on.

Rose got out of bed, pausing to pick up his suit and shirt and fold his clothing and place them over the chair where he had tossed his coat the night before, then she put on a bathrobe and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

* * *

In the kitchen, Jackie Tyler was already up and dressed and had been for a while, because she had barely caught any sleep the night before. As she heard the bathroom door close she put on the kettle to make some tea, then she turned to the window and looked out, down at the estate where Rose had grown up.

It was then her eyes clouded with worry:

Rose, her little girl, grown up so fast and now not just friends with the Doctor, but in a relationship with him. _Why did her daughter have to pick a man from another planet whose travels were so dangerous?_ Her heart felt like it jumped into her mouth every time the Tardis took off with Rose inside it. Her biggest fear was that one day, Rose would leave and not come back, because he took her far from home, to dangerous places where bad things happened...

 _And she needed to talk to her daughter about that before the worry killed her..._

A short while later, just as she was setting the table, Rose walked into the kitchen. She was dressed in jeans and a white stretchy top, but her hair was still damp from the shower and as she smiled it was clear by the flush to her face and the sparkle in her eyes that she was _definitely_ in love.

"We need to talk," Jackie said in a low voice as Rose sat down at the table.

Her expression changed to one of concern.

"What's the matter, mum?"

"You and him!" she said quietly, "You and the Doctor! This is getting serious! _And_ dangerous!"

Rose gave a sigh as Jackie placed tea on the table and then looked back at her daughter.

"I love him," Rose replied, "And he's a nice guy -"

"And he's from another world and takes you to _dangerous_ places! How do you think that makes me feel? Why can't you ask him to settle down here, on Earth, where nothing bad ever happens?"

"Bad things _do_ happen here sometimes, mum - you don't understand," Rose said.

Jackie went back over to the cooker to finish breakfast. As bacon sizzled she guessed the rising heat in that frying pan was much like her temper – but she was going to keep it under control because she had to. Rose wasn't with a bad person, she liked the Doctor. She just didn't like his lifestyle...

"I do understand, Rose. Have a talk with him. Ask him if he wants to settle down here on Earth. He could move in here if he wanted to."

Rose looked down at the table and giggled, then as she caught her mother's eye she managed to stop smiling, because her mum looked offended.

"Sorry, it's just that you don't know him like I do – he's been travelling for years, but he's not ready to settle down yet."

"No, he's just ready to take you _with_ him instead," she replied, and then the conversation was dropped as the Doctor walked into the kitchen.

"Morning!" he said brightly as he sat at the table in his creased suit and ran his fingers through slightly untidy hair.

"Morning," Jackie replied, looking away as she turned her attention back to breakfast.

Rose leant over the table and dropped her voice to a whisper.

"There's no rush, you could have had a shower!"

"I'm not dirty...and I smell like you, like us, _why_ would I want to wash that off?" he said softly as love shone in his dark eyes.

Jackie finished making the breakfast and then sat down at the table and they began to eat,and while the Doctor and Rose talked and exchanged glances, all Jackie could think was that her daughter was with the Doctor – and it was love, that meant it was going to last. The danger, the risk of going off with him into the unknown and everything out there that came with it, Rose was going to be exposed to it all, forever...

* * *

After breakfast, as Rose and the Doctor were talking about staying for a couple more days, Jackie Tyler could keep silent no longer.

"Doctor, I need to talk to you."

He turned from Rose and looked across the table at her.

"Mum, don't,"Rose said.

The Doctor fixed his dark gaze on Jackie, who clearly seemed troubled by something.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, "You look worried?"

"You bet I am," she replied, "It's dangerous out _there_ – where ever you go off to with my daughter. I'm not sorry you fell in love, I'm glad you're together – but you have to _stop_ all that if you want to be with Rose. "

"Stop what?" he asked her, feeling confused by her remark.

"Stop travelling. _Stop_ taking my daughter all over the universe, because it's full of danger!"

Rose looked at her pleadingly.

"Don't," she said again, "Please don't spoil this -"

"Hang on a minute," the Doctor said, glancing to Rose and then looking to her mother, "Jackie, if you know I love Rose, you'll know I will _always_ keep her safe, right? And if you think the only dangerous places are in outer space you're wrong. Earth can be dangerous too. There's no such thing as a safe place! Bad things happen all the time and they can happen anywhere!"

"But worse can happen travelling with you," she said to him, and then she got up from the table, "You can't blame me for wanting my daughter to be safe."

"She _is_ safe, she's with _me_!" he exclaimed, and as he got up from the table too, so did Rose.

"Stop it, mum!" Rose said again, "Just leave it! I'm happy, can't you just be happy for me?"

The Doctor paused to smooth out some creases from his suit and then he looked to Rose.

"Let's go out."

"Where?"

"Anywhere...just _out_."

He caught her hand and turned for the door.

"See you later, Jackie, me and Rose are going shopping."

As Rose left the room she glanced back at her mother, who saw hurt in her daughter's eyes and then she instantly regretted all she had said. She heard the Doctor tell Rose to wait while he grabbed his coat, and moments later the front door closed.

And still she worried for her, she worried long after they had left the house and walked through the estate as Jackie watched from the window as they walked off holding hands, and she wondered how long it would be before the Doctor's travels through space and his encounters with aliens would lead to Rose meeting with harm...

* * *

Missy's Tardis had landed on Earth, and by the date she guessed it wouldn't be too long before her own former self the Master would be showing up as Harold Saxon. But she wasn't going to let something like that put her off skirting so close to her own timeline, because she had a job to do, and she planned to make money out of it, cut her losses and run.

 _But the Daleks would not stop tracking her and her Tardis until they had what they wanted..._ She looked down at the silver case on the floor next to the console.

"Not long now," she murmured, and then a monitor jumped to life – and it was a transmission she couldn't shut off or ignore, because it was from the Daleks...

" _You will soon deliver the package!"_ commanded the metallic voice of the gleaming black Dalek that fixed its eye stalk at the screen, _"You are in position. Has contact with the task force been made?"_

She thought of the humanoid slaves who had been programmed and then placed on Earth to pose as a terrorist organisation called DSR – their purpose was to wear down the human race with bombing attacks, and then to flood the world with Blue Ice, turning the people into addicts, making their enslavement and the capture of Earth simple. It would not be until much later on that Earth would learn DSR stood for _Dalek Supreme Race.._.

"Not yet, " Missy replied, "Shall I contact them now?"

" _You will not make contact until further notice!"_ the Dalek commanded, _"UNIT discovered alien components in a used explosive device. Word has reached across the universe -there is a Judoon ship enroute to Earth to investigate. You will await further instruction."_

She looked indignantly at the screen.

"I will do what?"

" _You will await further instruction or we will activate the device on your wrist and EX-TER-MIN-ATE you!"_

Missy looked down at the shiny black band she wore around her wrist, a device capable of teleport and rendering her invisible, and unfortunately, since they had forced her to wear it, the bracelet also enabled the Daleks to track her movements and if necessary, to kill her, too...

" _You will listen to the Daleks or we will EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"_ the Dalek ranted.

She fiddled with the bracelet thoughtfully.

"And I will _re-gen-er-ate._.." she said in a low voice.

The Dalek was speaking again.

" _There will be a scheduled explosion at mid day. There will be no more attacks nor delivery of the package until the Judoon ship has departed. You will await further instruction!"_

"Supreme Dalek," Missy said, smiling sweetly, "I just want to ask one question?"

" _You may speak."_

She held up her wrist and indicated to the bracelet.

"I really don't like this one little bit. Black isn't my colour, it's _so_ last season. Do they come in blue?"

And the screen went blank as the call was abruptly shut off, and Missy glared at the darkened screen.

"I will _not_ await your instruction, you can wait for _me_ for once!" she snapped, and then she turned to the door and headed out of her Tardis, wishing she could also walk away from the mess she was caught up in. _She SO wanted out..._

* * *

The Doctor and Rose had spent the morning in town.

The most part of it had been spent in a cafe where they had sat together and talked, mainly about Jackie as the Doctor had promised her that her mother's opinion really didn't make a difference to him at all.

" _I love you," he had told her, "I want to be with you forever. She just needs to get used to the idea..."_

It was almost mid day by the time they reached the shopping centre, and as they went inside Rose looked at the Doctor and smiled.

"I feel like we're teenagers, hanging out at the mall so we don't have to go home!"

The Doctor smiled back at her.

"Don't worry about your mum. She'll get used it," he reminded her again, hating to see a trace of worry in her eyes.

They walked on past store fronts, then they passed a fountain and came to a seating area, and Rose led him over to an unoccupied bench and they sat down together.

"Forever?" she said to him, "That's a long time. Did you mean that?"

He shot her a knowing glance.

"Of course I do."

"So...maybe one day you might want to settle down...with me...and then _maybe_ -"

"Yeah, one day," he replied, feeling a flicker of panic at the thought of settling down and never taking off in the Tardis again,"But that's a long way off. I just want to have fun."

And he smiled and so did she, then Rose glanced over at a nearby store front and made a wish. As she looked back at him, he glanced to the store front, where diamond rings were in the display.

"What's on your mind, Rose?"

Their eyes met.

"Nothing, just the usual stuff."

The Doctor leant back against the bench and watched as shoppers walked past as he paused for thought.

"So it was nothing to to do with that display of engagement rings over there?"

"No!"

He laughed softly and shifted closer to her.

"Come here."

"I am here."

"Closer," he said.

Rose leaned closer. As their eyes met again their lips were almost touching.

" _One day,"_ he promised her, and then he gave her a kiss, took her by the hand and got up, pulling her with him.

"Shall we go up to the second level?" he asked.

"Great idea, there's tons more to see."

"Not more engagement rings?" he joked, and she laughed, and they stopped walking.

He put his hands on her hips and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Doctor," said Rose.

And as they kissed they were jolted apart as a woman bumped into them.

The lovers let go of each other.

"Sorry...how clumsy of me!" Missy said apologetically, and then she quickly looked away as the shock hit her of seeing a face she had not seen for many years:

It was him. It was the Doctor in his Tenth lifetime, where he was yet to meet her former self, Harold Saxon...

Missy didn't to dare to look back as she hurried for the exit.

* * *

"That was weird," Rose said as the Doctor stood there watching the woman in Victorian clothing hurrying towards the mall exit.

"I know..." he replied thoughtfully, his gaze still fixed on her back as she made for the door.

"I mean, it's weird she's in Victorian clothing," Rose added.

"That's not that I meant," the Doctor said as he looked back at her, "I got the feeling I know her from somewhere..but I can't think where...Time travel, it gets me like that all the time..maybe I haven't met her yet...or have I?"

Rose shook her head.

"I don't know."

The Doctor shrugged off that thought, because it was bothering him and he felt sure he would never work it out, thanks to his many journeys through time, where he had lost exact count of all the people he had ever met.

"Forget it," he said, "Let's move on, second floor?"

"Good idea," Rose replied, and he took her hand and they turned for the escalator.

Then there was a boom that sounded from above and a rush of heat as shop fronts shattered and the shards blew out and people screamed and the Doctor and Rose were slammed to the ground.

Rose gave a gasp as she saw the ceiling above them splitting down the middle, the upper floor about to collapse.

She looked to the Doctor, who was on his back beside her, watching with eyes wide as the upper floor prepared to fall. It was already happening and there was no time left - and only one thing he could do now.

As Rose drew in a frightened breath the Doctor rolled on top of her and covered her.

" _It's okay, I've got you!"_ she heard him say, and then the ceiling collapsed...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Rose was coughing hard as she sat up and dragged in a lungful of air and coughed again. She ached all over, felt as if she had been slammed into a wall.

 _No,not a wall._

 _A floor, because there had been an explosion and the ceiling had come down and..._

"Oh no..."she whispered, and looked about the rubble as the dust began to settle. There was glass everywhere and chunks of masonry and... the place was wrecked. She looked up through a gaping hole into the second floor, and saw far up into the scorched ceiling beyond. Then she heard some screaming and cries for help, but they sounded distant.

"Doctor?" she called, and coughed again.

" _Rose..."_

She turned around and saw him, on his back with his coat covered with dust and as he reached for her a trickle of blood ran over the back of his hand.

"Rose...are you okay?"

She was at his side,kneeling right next to him as she grasped his hand, but as he looked up at her, the Doctor struggled to focus and knew the score at once:

 _This was very, very bad._

 _He could feel his body going numb, a sense of darkness drawing closer._

He drew in a sharp breath and it hurt, reminding him he was still in his damaged body and it wasn't too late.

" _I won't regenerate...I'm not ready...got too much left to do..."_

Breathing was still difficult.

He looked up at Rose and blinked, managing to clear misty vision for a brief moment.

" _I...I can do something else...I won't leave you...Rose, I won't..."_

His hand slipped from her grip as he lost consciousness.

"Doctor?" Rose said in alarm, but he gave no response.

She grabbed his hand and rubbed the back of it.

"Doctor, please... _please_ stay with me!"

But he remained motionless, his breathing was slow and steady now, yet he remained unresponsive.

As tears stung at her eyes, Rose recalled the last thing he had said to her – that he wouldn't leave her.

 _Was he leaving her?_

 _Was she going stay trapped in the rubble as the Doctor died and she could do nothing to stop it?_

She drew in a breath and looked tearfully to the place where light shone through from outside, too much blocked the way and the rubble was too heavy to move by herself – and she wasn't going to leave the Doctor's side anyway. She couldn't, she was too afraid that if she turned her back just for a moment...

She looked back down at him. He was still breathing. As long as he was breathing, she wasn't going to lose hope.

" _Help us!"_ she yelled, _"We're trapped! Please, someone..."_

And then she held tight to the Doctor's hand, watching anxiously as his breathing continued to be slow and steady.

"It's going to okay," she said as she started to break down and cry, "We will get out...we _will_ , soon..."

And then she heard a crack and more damaged ceiling came crashing down in the corner, making the floor shudder as more dust clouded the air and then settled.

"We will get out," Rose whispered, looking to the tiny gap where daylight came though, as she made a silent vow that she would _not_ let the Doctor die here...

* * *

It had grown silent and the wait was long, and Rose knew she was shaking and the cold she felt to her aching bones had to be shock, but the pain she had felt on waking was gone by now. She focused on the Doctor, talking to him, hoping he could hear her as she wondered how deep his unconsciousness was. And he remained unresponsive as she watched the rise and fall of his chest, but this was enough to reassure her that the man she loved was still alive.

Then rubble was forced aside, it was lifted and tossed out, landing with a crash that split the floor beyond the site of the blast.

Rose turned her head to see daylight streaming in – and the rescuers were not human...

"What's going on?" she murmured as she knelt beside the Doctor, watching as the big creatures that reminded her of rhinos made their way over the rubble.

"Please help us!" she begged as she looked up at the creature.

The alien grasped her hand, raising it and snapping a bracelet on her wrist, and then he made a move to do the same to the Doctor.

"Wait – he's hurt, don't move him -"

"You will both come with us, " its deep voice stated, "We are Judoon, seeking the perpetrator of this crime and others."

"Crime?" Rose exclaimed, "What crime?"

"You will accompany us, human. The male from Gallifrey, species TimeLord, needs medical assistance."

And he snapped a bracelet on to the Doctor's wrist.

Rose stood up and looked in defiance at the creature.

"You can't take us anywhere -"

Her words were drowned out by a shimmer of light that covered her and the Doctor and the Judoon, as the three of them were teleported out of the bomb site.

* * *

Missy had been watching from the corner near the exit, where she had stayed very quiet and very still as she looked on, towards the centre of the building where the area had been devastated...

 _Was the Doctor dead?_  
The thought of a universe without her enemy in it was worrying...

She didn't want to be alone, she didn't want to know he wasn't there any more... What point would there be in Missy without the Doctor?

And she didn't want to think too deeply about _why_ she felt that way.

Instead she stepped back into the shadows to avoid a passing Judoon and used the bracelet to lock on to the alien ship, and then she hit the teleport button.

As the world about her solidified once more, she found herself at the end of a steel corridor near a door way and she lingered there, watching as up ahead, she saw the Doctor's companion along with others who had been caught up in the blast, who were being led into another section by a Judoon. She guessed they were interviewing witnesses in an attempt to catch the bombers.

It was then Missy's cold eyes widened as she felt a spike of fear run through her:  
What would happen if they _did_ catch them?

Then it would only be a matter of time before the trail led back to a certain TimeLady who happened to have a case full of the world's most dangerous and addictive drug stashed away in her Tardis, along with a machine to replicate the stuff forever more...

The thought of the Judoon and the Daleks pursuing her was one that chilled her to the bone and for once, Missy felt like maybe she wasn't entirely a law unto herself any more, because too much was at stake now – mainly, her own life and liberty...

 _It was time to rethink the plan._

She was in the middle of rethinking it when she turned her head and looked into a room where nurses were tending to some of the injured people from the explosion, and it was then she saw the Doctor lying on his back on a bed in the corner of the room. He wasn't moving and looked deeply unconscious.

Missy breathed a relieved sigh:

 _At least he was still alive._

 _She was not alone in the universe yet._..

Then up ahead, she saw Judoon leading more people across a passageway – this time heading back to a teleport area. She knew she had to act fast, because with all the people being moved on and off this ship, she could easily slip out again, right under the noses and the radar of the Judoon.

She liked her plan, it made her smile.

" _You're good, Missy, very good,"_ she murmured, and then she quickly entered the room where medical staff were tending to the wounded, passed through it and into a room beyond, where she found spare uniforms hanging up and quickly began to strip off her Victorian clothing.

* * *

"I don't know anything," Rose said tearfully as she sat in an interrogation room and the eyes of a Judoon regarded her thoughtfully, "Me and the Doctor were just passing through, spending the day in town...was it a bomb? Tell me, was it a bombing?"

A communication screen on the table bleeped and then she heard a voice in alien language. The Judoon who sat opposite her replied to it and shut the channel off.

"We have found those responsible for the bombing. Manipulated humanoids programmed for the purpose by an enemy who is also wanted by the Judoon."

Rose stared at him.

"You mean the terrorist attacks...they're coming from another world? They're alien?"

The Judoon said nothing in reply as he hit a call button.

"Please tell me, I want to know who did this!" she demanded.

The Judoon got up from his seat.

"You will wait. You will be collected for departure."

"At least tell me if the Doctor's okay!"

The door closed behind the Judoon, leaving Rose alone in the room.

She got up from her seat and then as her legs shook and she realised she was still trembling from the blast, she leant against the table as she waited.

" _I'm not leaving without you,"_ she whispered as she thought of the man she loved and hoped that some how, he could hear her even though she didn't know where he had been taken.

* * *

Rose waited in silence for several minutes, and then the door opened and a young woman came in wearing a white coat. Her fair hair was tied back and her eyes glowed an unearthly shade of lilac.

"Rose Tyler?"

She nodded.

"How is he, how is the Doctor?" she said as she blinked away tears and wished the stupid shaking that ran though her body would just _stop._

"I am an on board medic, the Judoon employ a variety of species and I am closest to human," she said to her, "It was felt it would be better that you spoke with one who resembled your own race at this difficult time."

Rose felt her heart miss a beat.

"What do you mean?"

"Come with me, I will take you to the Doctor," she replied, and Rose followed her out of the room and down along corridor, and the woman led the way silently, ignoring her constant pleas for explanation.

Rose gave up on asking questions as she was led to the room where the Doctor was on a bed in the corner of the room, he was on his back and his coat was still covered in dust, but some of it had been brushed away and it looked like he had been cleaned up. But he was still motionless apart from the steady rise and fall of his chest, and as she looked at him, Rose felt a rising sense of dread as she turned to the woman with the lilac eyes.

"When will he wake up? We need to leave, I'm not going without him."

"Rose Tyler," the woman replied, "Is the Doctor your life partner?"

Rose nodded.

Already tears were threatening to sting at her eyes again. She had heard the tone of her voice, she knew where this was going now...

"Then my condolences are offered," the woman said to her, "The Doctor's injuries are severe and he is in a coma. He will not wake again."

" _No..."_

Rose blinked as the world blurred and she looked into the eyes of the woman with the lilac gaze.

"No, you're wrong -"

"All scans indicate the Doctor is in a deep coma. Some kind of part shut down of his body. We know little of his species but estimating that his injuries are not survivable, you must accept the fact that your life partner will never wake again."

Rose had stopped shaking.

It seemed like an odd time to stop, but for a moment she had gone completely numb as she looked to the alien medic and took in her words.

"You're wrong," she said in a hushed voice, "He promised me, he said he would never leave me!"

"I am sorry," the woman replied, "But it seems there is nothing that can be done for him."

" _And that's quite enough of that talk, you can clear off and see to someone else who needs cheering up, you little puddle of misery. Don't just stand there, move! I've been asked to take these people back to Earth."_

As the medic looked rather surprised, and then turned and walked away, Rose looked to the woman who now stood at the Doctor's bedside and wondered why she looked so familiar:

 _She had ice blue eyes and her dark hair fell to her shoulders, and the white coat she wore clung to her curves and barely skimmed her thighs. She had never met her before and yet, there was something familiar about her, although Rose couldn't place it..._

"I want to go back home, with the Doctor," Rose said, and the woman looked at her for a moment, fixing her with a gaze that seemed again to be familiar, but after all that had happened, she guessed maybe her mind was playing tricks on her – of _course_ she didn't know her from somewhere...

"Of course you do," she agreed, "And I'm here to help. My name is Missy."

And she smiled, but Rose just met her gaze with sad eyes and looked back at the Doctor.

"I don't believe he's not going to wake up. He will, he has to!"

"Of course he will, dear," Missy replied, glancing about the place to be a sure the other staff were busy, "Now...I'm just going to share a little _secret_ with you. The pay on this ship is lousy and I want out, so I'm not checking out through the formal channel of the teleport room. We're leaving, here and now. But first I need to temporarily scramble something on my teleport device. It's a bit different to yours. I need something... _sonic_ to help me out."

Her eyes widened as she looked at her.

"I don't have time for this, I just want to go home and look after the Doctor. I don't know how long he has left, and I want to be with him if..."

Rose trailed off into tears and she put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob, then she managed to pull back from it as she found her voice again.

"I want to be there to hold his hand, he wouldn't want to be alone..."

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Oh, for goodness sake, come here!"

She grabbed her hand and turned over the teleport bracelet on her wrist, and Rose watched as she accessed a map.

"Find your home on the map. The exact location. Then I can link our three bracelets and we can go. You need to take me with you, I'm a nurse. I can help you care for the Doctor."

Rose felt confused, but all that Missy had said seemed like a good deal. At the back of her mind came the notion that perhaps if a deal was too good to be true maybe there was a catch somewhere, but at that moment, she didn't care.

"Okay," she agreed, "I'll do that, you can come with us."

She began to search the map and zoom in as she searched for home.

"And I need a sonic device? _Now_?"

Rose reached into the Doctor's coat pocket and took out his sonic screwdriver."

"Be careful with it," she said as Missy snatched it from her and carefully used it on the tracking device. There was a brief sound of static hissing from the bracelet, and then she handed the screwdriver back to Rose, who looked at it, then the Doctor, and became tearful again.

"I hope you're not going to be crying all the time," Missy complained, "You're starting to annoy me!"

And Rose was about to ask her what she meant by that remark, but Missy activated the device and all three bracelets glowed, and then Rose, the Doctor and Missy were transported off the Judoon ship.

* * *

Jackie Tyler had waited all afternoon, and had vowed to wait all night and the next day if she had to – because as soon as the news had broke about the bombing, she had tried to reach Rose and her daughter had not picked up the phone. And something awful had stirred within her, the same kind of feeling she got when ever Rose was far away and she wondered if she might be in danger. But this time it had been worse, it had been cold and deep and awful from the moment she had seen the news reports and the sight of the bombed out building.

 _Rose was caught up in it, she felt sure of it._

And as she stood in the crowd and watched as rescuers helped emergency services shift rubble, she silently prayed her daughter was still alive.

Then she wondered about the Doctor, and then she thought about how she had spoken to him the last time she had seen them both – telling him that space was more dangerous than Earth, upsetting her daughter with the things she had said...

 _What if they were both trapped in that rubble?_

 _What if they were both gone?_

 _What if it was too late to say sorry?_

As she stood there watching and waiting, she refused to give up. Jackie pulled her phone from her pocket and called her daughter's number again.

The phone rang, went unanswered and switched to voicemail.

Jackie's gaze was still fixed on the rubble and the bodies brought out from it covered by blankets. She clung to the hope her daughter was still alive and found the strength to speak as the tone sounded:

" _Rose? I don't know if you can get this message, but...I'm probably being silly, you're probably out somewhere with the Doctor and having a great time... it's just that I'm in the town centre, and there was a bombing...people are dead. Of course you wasn't caught up in it...but it's awful and I keep thinking... I can't reach you. I hope you're safe. Both of you. Call me as soon as you can, please call me."_

Then she ended the message and looked about the crowd, wishing she would catch sight of her amongst them, wanting to be wrong about that terrible feeling she couldn't shake off. But it hung in the air as sure as the grim sight of the bodies being taken away reminded her this was not a nightmare that she could wake from. This was real, and every instinct was telling her that Rose was caught up in this some how...

* * *

Since they had teleported back to the flat, Rose had felt an instant sense of relief to be home. And Missy had been so very helpful, now the Doctor was resting in bed – in her mum's room. That had been Missy's idea, because she had said, she felt sure it was better to put him in the bigger room, so that Rose could be with him all the time. Rose wasn't sure how her mum would react when she heard what had happened and found the Doctor, in a coma, lying in her bed - and after the quarrel they had that morning, the thought of more angry words now was too much to bear. But Missy had been so helpful, and Rose felt thankful for that.

"Where will you go?" she asked her as she sat on the edge of the bed, holding on to the Doctor's hand as he lay there with his eyes closed.

"Oh, don't worry about me," Missy replied, "I'll find somewhere to stay tonight. I know Earth pretty well. And I'll be back tomorrow to make sure you're okay."

"It's not me you need to worry about!" Rose said.

Missy looked at her kindly.

"Of course I'm worried about you! If he dies -"

She paused, watching as Rose became tearful again.

"You really do love him, I can see that. I don't blame you. He's a handsome man," she gave a brief but sly smile,"Nice body too. I can't say I minded helping you take his clothes off..."

Rose shot her a look of alarm.

"Missy, that's _so_ inappropriate!"

"I'm sorry,I just hate to see you so sad."

Rose looked at the Doctor and felt an ache deep in her heart.

"The Judoon told me it was an alien attack. They said the bombers were alien -working for someone...more aliens, I guess.. But they've caught them now, so it won't happen again."

Missy's twin hearts jolted.

"They've _caught_ them?"

As Rose looked at her, anger and pain burned in her eyes.

"I hope they execute them for what they've done!" she said tearfully.

Missy's face had paled as she guessed Rose was right – they _would_ execute them, after they had been interrogated - and if they had mentioned a deal between Daleks and a TimeLady...

Rose was still tearful and Missy watched as she gently stroked the Doctor's hair as he gave no response.

"I'll look after you forever," she promised him, "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'll always look after you, as long as it takes. You won't be alone."

And as she watched Rose vowing to never leave him, Missy had already made her decision:

 _She needed to dump the drugs._

 _She would do it tomorrow, she would dump them on Rose..._

"I should leave you now," she said to her, "I'll come over tomorrow. I've got your number, I scanned it out from your phone. I'll call first. Take care, Rose."

And then she walked out of the room and headed for the front door.

* * *

As Missy left and closed the front door behind her, Rose stayed at the Doctor's side.

"Can you hear me?" she said softly, "I wish I knew if you could..."

And then she pulled her phone from her pocket as she suddenly realised her mum was not back home yet. The explosion had happened close by, close enough...did she think she was dead?

Suddenly Rose regretted turning off her phone after their quarrel that morning. She switched it back on and saw sixty missed calls and eleven messages.

"Oh no, _no_ , mum," she muttered, and hastily hit speed dial.

"Rose?" her mum had answered as soon as her phone had started to ring, and she sounded afraid.

"I'm okay, I'm at home, just come home."

"Oh Rose, I thought -"

"You were right, but I'm okay..." she paused, feeling an ache in her heart once again that cut deep and was becoming unbearable, "But the Doctor was hurt...you need to come home,I need to explain -"

"I'm on my way," Jackie replied, and the call ended.

Rose was still feeling the pain of her own words. Now she had said it, she had told her mum and when she came home she would find out the rest, she would have to explain something she wasn't sure if she could live with:

 _The news that the Doctor might never wake up._

Rose looked to the dressing table, and as she caught sight of her reflection she saw a person she barely recognised:

Her clothes were torn, there was dust in her hair and a graze to her cheek and a look of emptiness in her eyes.

 _She didn't know how to get through this._

 _She didn't even know if she could get through it._

 _She wanted the Doctor back._

 _She couldn't imagine life without him, and she wasn't sure if she could handle any of this..._

 _Rose felt like she was losing her mind._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Jackie hugged her daughter, she didn't want to let her go.

But she did let go, because Rose didn't look right, she didn't sound right, she was shaking and tearful and talking about how she hoped the ones responsible for the bomb had died for what they had done.

It was then Jackie placed her hands on the shoulders of her daughter's torn and dusty top and as she felt her shake to her bones, and as she looked into her eyes she knew at once Rose was in shock. She was still processing all that she had been through, and it would take a while for her to get back to anything like the girl she knew as her daughter.

"Rose," she said, speaking as calmly and softly as she could, " _Stop_ this! You're okay, it's over. I know it must have been frightening, of course it was - but you were lucky, you got out unharmed! And the Doctor, he got out -"

She stopped, seeing the look in her daughter's eyes.

"Oh god no," Jackie said, and Rose looked at her with tear filled eyes.

" _The bomb went off. We were thrown to the ground. The floor above was collapsing. The Doctor threw himself on top of me. The ceiling came down. He saved me, mum. And then..."_ Rose paused, thinking hard.

No... it wouldn't do to mention aliens. That was the last thing her mum needed to hear...

" _They got us out. But no one can help him. The Doctor's in a coma. So I brought him back here, because they said he'll never wake up again."_

As Jackie stared at her daughter as they both stood in the hallway where they had been since Jackie had stepped through the door, and she wondered for a moment if her daughter had gone mad.

"Rose," she said, pausing to run her hand over her daughter's hair and brush off some dust from the explosion, "You can't do that. He should be in hospital -"

"No, you don't understand. He's sort of...shut down. He just looks like he's sleeping. And he needs me, because I _know_ he's going to wake up."

Then Rose looked up the hallway.

"We put him in your room. We thought it would be better because I need to be with him, you don't mind having my room, do you mum? It might not be for long."

"Who's _we_?" she asked her.

"Me and Missy – she's a nurse. She said she's coming to look in on him tomorrow...she's nice, she helped me..." Rose sounded utterly lost.

Jackie wanted to hug her daughter and talk to her and tell her again that she would be okay, but now was not the time.

"I think you're in a state of shock, love," she said to her, "And maybe you got it wrong. Maybe you didn't quite hear what was being said to you. He's probably just got concussion or something...shall we go and see him? He might be awake now."

Rose looked at her with sadness shading her eyes.

"He won't be," she said quietly, "And I didn't hear it wrong, mum."

"Let's take a look at him," Jackie said, and she went up the hallway and into the bedroom and walked over to the bed, where the Doctor was lying on his back, under the covers and completely still.

"Doctor?" she said cautiously, "It's Jackie...can you hear me?"

And Rose watched as her mother gave his hand a squeeze and spoke to him again, and the Doctor gave no response.

Jackie looked at him, lying there motionless save for regular breathing, and then she turned back to Rose.

"If nothing is going to change yet, you should at least get cleaned up, love. Go and have a bath, get rid of those clothes, you're covered with memories of the explosion. Get rid of it all. Go and get some rest. I'll keep an eye on him for now."

She saw a flash of fear in her eyes as she looked to the Doctor.

"I can't leave him, he might -"

"Rose, you have to look after yourself if you want to look after him properly," she reminded her, "Now go and get cleaned up, and then get some rest."

Her daughter's eyes were filled with anxiety and her face was still pale as she slowly nodded.

"Okay mum, I'll do that...I won't be long."

"Take your time," Jackie said quietly as her daughter left the room, and then she looked down at the Doctor, he gave a sigh and turned his head slightly and she leaned a little closer.

"You have to wake up, Doctor. Rose is in a right state over this! Did you hear me? Please, wake up..."

He took another breath as if in a deep sleep, and Jackie wondered if he had heard her. But looking at him, he seemed deeply unconscious.

She wasn't going to keep on giving Rose false hope, but now was not the time to tell her deeply shocked daughter that the man she loved seemed to be already gone, and perhaps it was only a matter of time before she lost him completely.

"I'm going to sit with you for a while," she said to him, "I'll keep you company until Rose gets back."

And then she heard the water running in the bathroom, and she hoped when Rose got out of there she would manage to grab some sleep, because she needed it, she needed to get over what had happened, and knowing she was taking her advice came as a relief, at least it gave her hope that Rose was young and strong enough to get over this eventually...

* * *

After taking a bath and then going back to her room, Rose slept until dawn.

Jackie stayed at the Doctor's bedside and woke up there hours later, stiff and aching, and as she looked at him, she saw at once there was no change. He was still unresponsive, still deeply unconscious. In fact, he seemed almost frozen in time, as if in a sleep that could never be broken.

"I'm going to fetch Rose," she said to him, and he continued to sleep, giving no response. Then as Jackie got up, she paused for a moment, recalling something that needed to be said. Even though she didn't know if he could hear her, it mattered to her that she said it:

"That was a brave thing you did for Rose," she told him, "You saved her. You _did_ keep her safe, just like you said you would. And I'm sorry Doctor, I was wrong when I said Earth was a safe place. You was right, no where is safe any more. I'm just glad you was there for her."

And she leant over him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for saving her life," she said, and then she straightened up, turned from his beside and left the room.

* * *

An hour later Rose was up and dressed and her first thought had been for the Doctor, and after telling her there was no change, Jackie had sat her down, persuaded her to eat, and then announced she was off to bed, because she was tired from being up half the night.

Rose had watched as her exhausted mother had gone into her smaller bedroom, where she would have to get used to seeping now, and felt a deep wave of sorrow pass through her. Then she went through to the main bedroom,where the Doctor was still unresponsive, and she sat down beside him on the bed and gently stroked his hair as she spoke to him.

"I woke up this morning not thinking of anything. Not for the first five minutes. And then it all came back to me... my head's been all over the place, but I'm okay now. I'm going to look after you. I'm going to do everything how you would want me to do it, Doctor. And I'm going to stop hating the people who planted the bomb. There's no point in it, is there? I mean, it's happened. What matters is we get through this, and we _will_. I'm going to get you through this."

The Doctor breathed a heavy sigh and turned his head towards her.

" _Doctor?"_

Rose felt her heart begin to race as she caught a spark of hope.

"Can you hear me?"

He gave another sigh and continued to sleep.

"I think you did hear me," she said, "I need to hold on to that hope."

And then her phone rang.

She answered it at once, and Missy began to speak.

"Rose!" she said brightly, "How is the Doctor this morning?"

"No change," Rose replied, "But he did move...like he could hear me. But he still can't wake up."

"And he most likely never will - sorry to be blunt. Put the kettle on, I'd love some tea. I'm on my way over."

"Okay," she said, deciding against having a go at her for the way she had spoken - clearly, she didn't have a great bedside manner - but she was a nurse, so it was a relief to think someone with medical knowledge was coming over.

"I'll check him over as soon as I get there," Missy added, "See you soon, Rose."

Then she ended the call.

Rose looked to the Doctor, wishing he would just open his eyes, but she was getting used to this now – at least, as much as she could.

"It's going to be okay," she promised him, "Missy's coming over. She's a nurse from the Judoon ship. She's going to help."

* * *

Jackie was fast asleep in her daughter's room with the door closed, and she didn't wake when the doorbell rang and Rose opened up the door to find Missy on the doorstep, and since yesterday, there had been a big change in her appearance:

She now wore a floral print dress that fitted her well, it came down to her knees and her shoes were high heeled and complimented her dress. Her dark hair was swept back and she smiled warmly at Rose as she stepped inside carrying a silver case.

"You're looking brighter."

Rose closed the front door.

"I don't feel it...I'm worried about the Doctor."

"And I'll go and check him over right now. Did you make the tea?"

Rose shook her head.

"Well run along!" Missy urged her, "You make the tea while I do my nurse thing...and then we can sit down and have a nice chat."

A _nice chat_ was the last thing on her mind as she thought of the Doctor, locked in a coma.

"I'll put the kettle on," she said quietly.

Missy's smile faded.

" _Good girl,"_ she said in a low voice as Rose went into the kitchen, _"I need you out of the way..."_

And then she went down the hallway and into the main bedroom and closed the door behind her.

* * *

As she placed the case on the floor and left it there, Missy looked down at the Doctor. The covers were down to his waist, he was on his back and his eyes were closed.

Missy's gaze wandered over his slender, firm body and she gave a sigh.

"Oh, regeneration _does_ hold surprises...Here I was thinking a female form would be the ultimate disguise - and instead I find all these _brand new_ feelings coming out of me...so many _new attractions_..."

And she placed her hand lightly on his chest, running her fingers through the dark hair that covered it as she leant closer and inhaled the masculine scent of him.

Then she paused, placing her palm flat on one side of his chest, and then on the other.

"Two strong heart beats," she remarked, "Not so much a coma as a _restorative sleep_ to repair your wounds... Shame Rose doesn't know that, she thinks you're dying...But I won't tell her otherwise, you can explain when you wake up... Why did I never realise what an attractive man you were in your Tenth life? Probably because I was a man too back then...Let's take a look at the rest of you..."

And she took hold of the covers and lifted them, catching her breath at the sight of the rest of his body.

"Very nice..." she murmured, "It almost makes me sad to think we have to be enemies...maybe we don't... I mean, you don't know me at all, do you, Doctor? Not here and now in _this_ lifetime..."

And she put the covers back to his waist and straightened them, then she paused to place a hand on his cheek as she looked at his sleeping face.

" _You are a handsome devil..."_ she murmured.

And the door opened and Rose came in.

Missy switched her hand from his cheek to his brow and then straightened his covers again.

"Yes, I can confirm there's no change," she said quickly, "He's certainly stable but he's still in the coma. He always will be, most likely scenario is, he'll be like this for years and years and slowly slip away. He won't know anything about it, but at least you can hold him while he dies in your arms. Where's my tea?" And she smiled sweetly.

" _In the front room,"_ Rose stated as she stared at Missy and wondered if she knew how cruel she had just sounded.

"Thank you," Missy said warmly, and she picked up her case and left the room. Rose looked to the Doctor, who slept on, and then she left the room too, closing the door softly behind her.

* * *

As Rose sat on the sofa and Missy sat beside her, she was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

At first, when she had accepted her offer of help, Rose had thought, in her shocked state following the explosion, that perhaps Missy just wasn't very... _sensitive_ to the feelings of others, that had to be why she spoke as harshly as she did...

But now as she looked at her, she began to wonder.

The shock of the explosion had put her thoughts and judgement all over the place. Now the shock was starting to settle, and although she felt like crying, she was able to hold it back and find some room to think – mainly about the Doctor:

 _It wasn't going to be easy, but she would find a way to cope, because she had to for his sake..._

And that was the _only_ thought that made sense as she looked at Missy and wondered why she hadn't noticed that look in her eyes before - like she was hiding something...

"So how long did you work on board the ship?" she asked.

Missy sipped her tea and set it down.

"Oh, I'm not here talk about me," she said, dismissing her question with a wave of her hand, "I came to talk about you."

"About me? But I'm not your patient, the Doctor is."

Missy set her tea aside and placed the silver case on the table. She turned a dial and it snapped open, and then she raised the lid.

"I wanted to show you this."

Rose looked at the inside of the metal case:

The sides were lined with metallic compartments, and in the middle there was a sealed box filled with blue powder. The compartments joined together in the middle of the back of the case where there was a button to activate a release mechanism attached to something that resembled a tap.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"It's a machine that replicates a substance known as Blue Ice. It's a natural substance, made from plant extract. And it would be perfect to take off the edge for you at this difficult time."

Rose shook her head.

"No thanks, I'm not stupid,Missy! I'd _never_ get into drugs."

"Drugs?" Missy laughed, "It's a non addictive herbal remedy for stress! I use it all the time. And that's why I want to leave it with you, because I'm off for a while and I want to know you will be able to cope. Honestly, it's perfectly safe to use. Let me show you."

And she pressed the button, there was a low hum and then the compartment below the tap opened up, and she took out a small glass bottle of blue liquid.

"It's harmless," she said again, took off the cap and gave it a quick sniff.

"See?" she said with a smile, " _Harmless._ But it does make you feel very, _very_ uplifted. Just what you need at a time like this."

And she passed it to her.

Rose looked at the bottle and then to Missy, who smiled warmly.

"Scared?" she teased.

"Just not sure," Rose replied as she cast her a wary glance.

But Missy seemed unaffected by the stuff, she just sat there looking absolutely fine as she watched her thoughtfully.

"This would help you," she told her, "It would help you get over the trauma of the explosion and everything else that has happened..."she took hold of her hand and looked at her kindly, "And everything that _will_ happen, when you lose him...You need something harmless and safe to get you through this, Rose. I'm trying to protect you from the terrible depression that could hit you when he dies."

Rose looked down at the liquid in the bottle. Missy's mention of the Doctor dying had hit her hard.

"Just inhale a tiny bit," Missy said to her, "See what a difference it makes."

"Okay...just a little bit, and then I'm stopping," Rose replied, "I don't care if it's natural or harmless, I don't trust it. I don't like the idea of it."

"You will," Missy promised her, and then she watched as Rose brought the uncapped bottle to her nose and gave a brief sniff.

"Better?" Missy asked.

Rose put the cap on the bottle and blinked, feeling something of a mild buzz as the world turned blue and then the blue faded out , leaving her with a warm and uplifted feeling that made her want to smile.

"Wow," she said, "You're right about this stuff... But it _is_ harmless?"

"Of course!"

Then Missy shifted closer to her.

"It's safe and harmless and will help to take the edge off. I want you to get through this, Rose. I know it can't be easy. And all you have to do is keep pushing the button to release a bottle. The bag in the middle is fixed to the replicator and it draws out a tiny substance once a year to keep the machine going. There's enough in there to work for five hundred years. "

As Rose looked at her, she could feel the stuff working. She felt warm and upbeat and full of energy and her mood had brightened, too. She smiled as she looked to her new friend.

"You're really kind, Missy."

And Missy smiled.

"I know. And I should be leaving soon. How about a little kiss goodbye?"

Rose smiled warmly as she slipped the bottle into her pocket and closed the case.

"Thanks for your help,Missy, "she said, and kissed her cheek.

The two women exchanged a look and as amusement danced in Missy's eyes, Rose giggled.

"What?"she asked her.

All trace of warmth that had been in Missy's eyes was gone now, and it was alarming, even in her mellow state, to see that happen so abruptly. It was unnerving...

"I was just thinking how that stuff you just took is rather weak to my constitution, as I'm not human," she replied, "That's why I'd need to take a lot of it to really enjoy myself. But I won't do that, Id hate to spoil the fun for you. Now, how about a _proper_ one?"

And she turned to her and shifted closer.

"A proper what?" said Rose.

Missy's eyes danced with merriment.

"A kiss! Come on, how about a _proper kissy for Missy_?"

She leaned closer.

Rose got up sharply from the sofa.

"I can't believe you just said that! The man I love could be dying and you're... _coming on to me_? How could you do a thing like that?"

Missy jumped up from the sofa.

Rose backed away. Then as her back hit the wall, Missy stood in front of her, placing her hand on the wall just above her shoulder, trapping her as she smiled playfully.

"Oh come on Rose, don't be shy...Can you blame me for getting all hot and bothered after feasting my eyes on your _lovely_ TimeLord boyfriend? And I did, you know...I had a _good_ look at him while you were out of the room."

Anger blazed in her eyes.

" _GET OUT!"_ Rose said sharply, but Missy leaned in closer still.

"If it makes you feel any better about this, I used to be a man -"

" _Get out!"_ she said again, ducking under her arm to break free of her as she grabbed at the door and wrenched it open. Rose had her hand screwed up in a fist now, and Missy still wore a bemused expression.

"I'm going," she said to her, walking quickly through the open door and heading up the hallway.

"If I _ever_ see you again ," Rose warned, but didn't get the chance to finish.

"You won't see me again," Missy told her, "And by the way – if your boyfriend wakes up, you can be sure he'll have a _lot_ more on his mind than saving the planet from hostile attacks, with a junkie girlfriend to look out for. "

Rose looked at her in horror.

Missy smiled again, and her gaze was pure ice.

"That's right," she said, I didn't inhale, not really. But you didn't notice that. Blue Ice is _highly_ addictive. I wouldn't ever try it. Not even _once_ , because once is enough!"

"What have you done to me?" Rose said as fear began to tug at her insides, managing to break through the warm and mellow feeling that refused to let up even though she wanted to go after her and demand answers.

"I got you hooked," Missy replied, "And it was _so_ easy. Bye now, must dash!"

And then she was gone and the front door closed.

* * *

 _That stuff refused to wear off._

Rose felt caught between dealing with it calmly and accepting it because the drug was pressing her to do so, or to fight it all the way.

"Rose? I heard shouting..."Her mum looked out of the doorway of her bedroom, and she looked tired.

"It's okay," she said, "Just people outside...They've gone now. Go back to sleep..."

As the door closed again, and Rose looked back towards the room where the Doctor was resting, she tried to fight a wave of panic as she wondered how much had been lies and how much had been truth:

She wouldn't know until the drug wore off.

 _And what then?_

 _How could she take care of the Doctor if she was hooked on an alien substance not from this world, maybe it was from a place very far away indeed.._

 _It was alien...that thought was lingering._

 _She knew that could mean there was no antidote here on Earth and...Oh no, if he did wake up, there was no way she could tell the Doctor about the terrible mistake she had just made..._

Rose was sure she ought to be far more scared than she was, but the drug wouldn't let her feel it properly. So instead she made her way back to the front room, picked up the case and then took it back to the bedroom where the Doctor was still unconscious, and she slid the case under the bed.

At least the buzz from this stuff was taking the edge off her sadness, Missy hadn't lied about _everything_...

"It's going to be okay," Rose promised as she sat beside him and took hold of his hand, "I _can_ handle this, I've got it under control... at least, I _think_ I have..."

And she looked to the Doctor, whose face was turned to the softness of the pillow as he breathed slowly and steadily and his eyes stayed shut.

"What ever happens,"Rose whispered, "I _won't_ let you down, even if I've messed up myself, I'll still take care of _you,_ forever if I have to."

And then she stroked his hair, watching as he slept on and as she reflected on how scary a prospect the word _forever_ had now become, now she dreaded the drug wearing off and wondered what would happen when it did: _A lifetime of addiction was the last thing she needed, but if it happened, she only had herself to blame, and she knew it, too..._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _The days passed._

And with the passing of that time the understanding came to Rose that she couldn't stop taking the stuff in the blue bottle, because the pain she went through when she tried wouldn't allow her to do it.

She had tried twice to go a day without the stuff but each time the pains started up again, cramps in her body like she was coming down with flu, and those pains got worse and sunk to her bones. And she couldn't lock herself away alone and shake and sweat and throw up because it wasn't a process that got easier to handle – the longer she left it, the worse it became.

Now it was dawning on her that Missy had not been lying – this stuff was dangerous, _and_ it was addictive.

Rose blamed herself for believing otherwise when that woman had looked into her eyes and lied and lied again. It was her own fault – she knew the shock of the explosion and the worry she was going through over the Doctor was also partly to blame, but she also blamed herself for that, even though she knew she was only human and no one in her position would be able to cope without making some bad decisions, not after everything that had happened...

It hit her every morning now, the pain of what she had to live with, and most of all, the uncertainty as she wondered if the Doctor would survive.

But the upside to this was the fact that the Blue Ice helped her to cope. Her mood was lighter, she didn't cry any more. She was handling this, and would keep on handling it as best as she could. And when the Doctor woke up, he would know what to do – she would have to tell him eventually about her problem... _If_ he ever woke up...

* * *

" _I'm worried about you, love."_

Rose had been making the tea in the kitchen and humming along to a song on the radio as her mother had walked in, looked at her like she didn't understand her any more and said those words.

Rose turned and smiled.

"Why?"

Jackie looked intently at her daughter, again getting that awful feeling that something was wrong, something under the surface...Rose seemed so lively, so upbeat, so confident all of a sudden, yet the Doctor's condition hadn't changed at all.

"You seem a bit too... _happy_."

Rose ran her fingers through her golden hair and flipped it off her face, met her mother's gaze with a dull kind of shine in her eyes and she smiled again.

"I'm fine. I thought I couldn't cope, but I can. I guess I never realised how much I could handle until this happened."

Jackie stepped closer, concern still apparent in her eyes.

"But you look tired, love. Maybe you're not getting enough sleep. And I don't like to say this, but maybe you shouldn't be sleeping _next_ to him every night in the same bed."

"He's my boyfriend, why shouldn't I share his bed?"

Jackie gave a sigh:

 _This was difficult..._

"I know it must bring you comfort to hold him every night but Rose, he's in a coma. I don't want you to wake up one morning and find him gone...I wouldn't want that for you, not to feel him cold in your arms -"

"Mum, stop it," she said, and she shook her head in disbelief, "His condition hasn't changed since the explosion. He could be like this for years. If that's what I have to accept, _fine_. I'll _never_ give up on him."

Jackie placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder as she looked into her eyes.. She had always tried her best with Rose, and now she knew if she didn't make her face facts, she could never forgive herself. It wasn't easy, but it had to be said...

"Rose, I'm sorry love, but I don't think he's going to last for years. And even if he did, it wouldn't be fair on him to be stuck like that. I think he's already gone. You _have_ to be prepared for the worst. _You could lose him at any time_."

Yesterday's buzz was wearing off and her mother's words felt painful, as if stuffed with razor blades, their edges catching her sharply. _All_ of life was way too painful right now...

" _Don't say that..."_

She was thinking about that bottle of blue heavenly escape. She needed a hit. Her shaking hand reached for a mug of tea, missed and knocked it over.

"I'll take care of it," her mum said, and Rose stepped aside as Jackie began to clean up the spill.

"I'm only trying to help," she added, "You don't seem to want to accept the truth, Rose. It's going to hit you _very_ hard when it does happen."

" _It won't."_

Rose was shaking inside now. She glanced at the clock on the wall:

 _Yes, it was time to take a hit..._

"I don't want you to talk about him dying," she told her, "He's not going to die. He's going to come out of this and be okay, he has to...Sorry about the mess."

Her mum had cleaned up the spill by now.

"I'll make you another cup of tea," she said kindly, and Rose wished she hadn't sounded so very kind, _too_ kind, like she was ready for something to happen that she couldn't even bear to think about...

* * *

Rose left the kitchen and crossed the hallway and went back into the bedroom and closed the door.

The Doctor had turned on his side - he did that sometimes, and she had given up on hoping that moving was a good sign, because he was still no closer to waking up.

She dropped to her knees on the carpet and reached under the bed and drew out the case, opened it and hit the the compartment opened she snatched out the small bottle of blue liquid and then closed the case and pushed it back under the bed.

Then Rose sat on the edge of the bed, her back to the Doctor as she uncapped the bottle and inhaled.

Relief flooded through her body, quieting the monsters that lurked in the corners of her mind, the fears that she couldn't face up to. She blinked, breathed a relieved sigh and capped the bottle and put it in her pocket. The blue haze was fading out now, but she felt warm inside and all the unbearable pain was dulling to a level she could cope with.

And it was a relief so beautiful she didn't have the words to describe it:

 _This wasn't a high._

 _She wasn't the sort of person to get high._

 _This was, for now, a way of coping - at least, that was the only way she could accept it. She would deal with the consequences later, because she had no other choice..._

Then she got up, left the room and closed the door behind her, no longer fearing her mother's talk of the Doctor and death, because those razor blades were nicely blunted now and no words had the power to cut deep any more, at least not as long as the buzz lasted...

* * *

She went back to the kitchen and joined her mum, and as she walked in the room, Jackie looked at her in surprise:

Rose looked fine again. _Too_ fine, and it worried her...

"Are you okay?"

"My boyfriend's in a coma but I'm coping," Rose replied brightly, and then she thanked her for the tea, picked up the mug and sipped from it.

"So what are you doing today?"

Jackie blinked and looked at her in surprise.

"I thought I might stay here because it's not right to leave you on your own to cope. You're doing way too much, Rose."

"No I'm not," Rose replied as she set the tea down, "I'm fine, mum. Look at me."

"I am," Jackie replied as concern reflected in her eyes.

Rose smiled again, and that smile almost made her eyes shine, but for the odd dullness reflected within.

"I'm fine, everything's going to be fine," she added, and then she sipped her tea again.

"How is he this morning?" her mum asked.

Rose shrugged.

"Same as usual, looking handsome as ever, and still fast asleep..." she paused for thought as the warm and relaxing buzz ran through her mind, _"I don't think of him as in a coma any more. He's my sleeping prince. I wish I could wake him with a kiss, imagine how lovely that would be..."_

"Well he's _not_ ," Jackie reminded her firmly as she wondered if Rose was losing touch with reality, "He is in a _coma_ and he's not going to get better!"

"Stop worrying, mum. I can handle this. I can handle everything, I'm fine! And you should go out for a while, its not fair on you being stuck in here all the time."

"Okay Rose...I might pop to the shops in a while, but I won't be long. I think I'll just go and check on the Doctor first."

"You do that, say Hi to him," Rose replied, and she sounded as if nothing was wrong at all, and that worried Jackie far more than she cared to show.

* * *

The Doctor had been in the same deep dark place where he had been since he had chosen to put himself into the coma. Now he was cautiously rising out of that dark place, very slowly, wanting to be sure he was properly healed.

 _He knew this was not an easy option._

His body had worked hard while he was shut down to repair the damage, and he would feel exhausted when he finally woke. He had caught voices around him over the passing days, he knew Rose was with him, and she sounded sad. He was yet to pull his memory together to recall everything. Something had happened...a ceiling had cracked and fallen...that was still hanging there in his mind, like a prompt to remind him of the rest on waking.

He rose up through another layer of darkness, feeling aches and pains and stiffness. The last of the healing was working through him now.

 _He knew he would wake soon._

And there was something he was remembering and as it came to him, he wanted to wake _now_ , because he had just recalled he had passed out before explaining everything to Rose...no wonder he had heard her crying , she didn't know he was actually in control of this, and was going to be okay.

There was no darkness around him now. It was like being deep under water and slowly rising, he was getting closer to the surface at last...

* * *

Rose was in the kitchen, she had just finished her tea and had looked out the window at the deep blue of the sky and thought of how it reminded her of happiness in a bottle:

Of _course_ it was all going to be okay.

She felt just fine.

She didn't even resent the addiction any more.

She was starting to wonder how she ever managed without it...

" _Rose!"_

As her mother called to her urgently, a flicker of panic ran through her, and she dashed from the kitchen and down the hallway, and as she entered the bedroom, if not for the buzz that was keeping her together, she was sure she would have lost it and started sobbing and been useless, but she held it together, even though the Doctor was shivering and sweating and his body was shining with perspiration as his breathing grew more rapid and came in short bursts.

"I just came in and found him like this," Jackie said, and as she looked to her daughter, she knew she would not be going anywhere until this was over, because a change in his condition _had_ to be a bad sign.

Rose took a deep breath as she tried to pull her head together and as she fought against the false sense of security that kept pushing to front of her mind, she recalled how she had sat on the bed with her back turned to the Doctor while she got high and hadn't even bothered to check on him.

That was the addiction biting at her, and she knew it.

Rose leant over him and ran her hand over his sweat dampened hair.

"It's okay, I'm here now," she promised him, and she placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him as he shivered and more sweat ran down his face.

"Rose..."

She glanced over her shoulder at her mother.

"What?"

"Let me help."

"I can handle this!" she insisted, and then she sniffed.

"What's that blue stuff round your nose?"

Rose pulled back from her trembling lover and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and was alarmed to see a trace of blue wetness there.

"Nothing...make up or something...don't worry about me, I'm fine! I need to get the Doctor cleaned up."

Jackie said something about fetching some water and then she left the room.

Rose thought again about how she had sat with her back to the Doctor as he lay locked in a coma, and then calmly got high.

 _She hated herself for doing it, but how could she stop now?_

"I'm sorry, Doctor...this wont happen again," she whispered, watching as he continued to tremble and sweat as she felt so helpless to save him that her powerlessness terrified her.

* * *

Back at her Tardis, Missy was beginning to feel as if all possible avenues of escape were closed off:

She couldn't flee in her ship because sooner or later, that bracelet would start working properly and any how, if the Daleks wanted to, they could kill her at the touch of a button, regardless of where she fled to. They would still be able to locate her position as on Earth. But not the _exact_ spot, not until the signal cleared. She would blame the Judoon for that, say they had affected the signal when teleporting everyone away from the bomb site...

As she looked to the darkened screen wondering when the Daleks would make contact again, she felt a creeping sense of cold anger rising through her:

 _They could have told her where the explosion had been planned._

 _She had almost been killed for taking a wander outside on that day._

 _But that wander had led her to the Doctor..._

As she thought of him she drew in a breath as she placed her hand on her upper chest, pressing her palm flat against the thin fabric of her floral dress as she breathed out and felt a pull of yearning.

 _Yes, she wanted him..._

 _And Rose Tyler had him instead._

That was more than a source of annoyance, it made Missy almost as angry as the thought that she had almost been blown up by a Dalek bomb. Then she thought of Rose and the drug and smiled as coldness shone in her eyes.

"Perhaps it won't be long," she mused, and then a smile tugged at her lips as she wondered if the Doctor would be in need of a new companion when he woke up...

It seemed like the best option, with the risk of the Judoon hunting her down if the bombers talked, leaving the Daleks with no more need for her, ironically, her old enemy was now her only hope to stand a chance of getting out of this alive:

 _Yes, the Doctor, who didn't yet know who Missy was, would certainly be her best chance of survival - and with looks and a body as fine as his, what a pleasure it would be, to be at his side and to take the place of Rose Tyler..._

* * *

An hour had passed.

Rose was alone with the Doctor now her mother had finally listened and understood that she could handle this. Rose felt like she was in control now, although the drug was still carrying her through, her mind was clearer now.

There was nothing like a cold hard shock to bring her to reality, and finding him so unwell had given her the shock she had needed.

Now, her head was together at last.

She had just finished bathing the sweat from the Doctor's body, she had dried him off gently with a towel and then straightened the sheets, keeping them folded to his waist as the fever started to leave him. She had opened a window to let the air come in, and it was helping him, because now he wasn't burning up, and he had stopped perspiring and trembling.

As she sat beside him she watched him sleeping, and then she gently took hold of his wrist and felt his pulse. It was steady, just like his breathing.

"What ever that was," she said to him, "You're over it now."

And he gave sigh, turning his head slightly.

"I think you can hear me when you do that," she told him, and she placed her hand on the centre of his chest and ran it gently across to his shoulder, where she let it rest, her fingertips stroking his skin lightly, "Can you feel that, Doctor?"

He gave no response and she leant over him, looked at his sleeping face and then spoke softly to him again.

" _I wish you could hear me."_

She pressed her lips to his, a single, tender kiss. Then a flicker of sadness ran through her as she wished he could respond.

"I just want to look into your eyes one more time, I miss you so much," she said to him.

The Doctor stirred again and gave another sigh as his lips parted. His eyes were still closed and the thought of never looking into his gaze again was enough to make her heart ache, and she was sure if not for that stuff she couldn't stop taking, she would have been a sobbing wreck by now.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, "I just want to know its stopped hurting. I don't want you to be in pain. Did I make it all go away? I tried to, I really did..."

Then Rose lay beside him on top of the covers, and as she looked at him, as she thought how he seemed to be merely sleeping, it seemed hard to accept that he would never wake.

He gave another sigh as she shifted closer to him, and she ran her hand down his arm, sliding her fingers to the underside of his wrist once more, feeling his steady pulse.

The feel of that rhythm was as comforting as the sound of his double heart beat as she placed her head on his chest.

"No matter how long it takes," she said, "I'll look after you."

And she raised her head from his chest and looked at his sleeping face.

"It's weird, talking to you like this. It's almost like you're just having a nap or something..."

And she gave a sigh as she ran her hand over his chest again.

"I feel a bit guilty saying this, Doctor - but you know how I love to look at you in bed. And right now it's so hard to remind myself that you're not just sleeping. I know what I'd do if you was..."

She ran her hand down his firm body, now her hand was resting on his hip beneath the covers as she looked at him, wishing he would open his eyes.

"I suppose its a good thing I'm needing you so badly. It just proves what's happened hasn't changed the way I feel. I still want you, still love you..."

She ran her hand up to his chest again and leant closer, her lips touching his once more.

"I love you so much," she whispered, "But you _know_ that...you _still_ know that, this changes nothing. We still have each other."

And she kissed him again, this time on his cheek.

The Doctor turned his head, his lips brushed hers as his arm slid over her side.

Rose caught her breath.

" _Do you know I'm here?"_

His hand shifted from her hip to her lower back, were he gently rubbed at her back and shifted even closer to the warmth of her body.

"Doctor?" she said, looking at him as desperation shone in her eyes as she watched for the faintest flicker of hope that he might be waking.

He was on his side now, facing her, his arm still around her as his head rested half on the pillow and half on her shoulder.

Rose wasn't sure if she was still thinking clearly. She knew she had been making a lot of sense when she had changed the sheets and bathed away his sweat and checked his pulse and got him comfortable.

But _this_ was something else...

 _She wasn't even sure if she should be kissing him and touching him like this, not under the circumstances._

 _But he seemed to be responding..._

 _She didn't want to get her hopes up._

 _Maybe it was a coincidence._

 _Sometimes when she cuddled up to him at night he seemed to shift closer to her, perhaps..._

 _No, this was different..._

She turned her head and looked at him.

"Come on Doctor," she said softly, and she ran her fingers though his hair, "Please wake up, you know you can do it..."

And she kissed him again.

And just for a moment, she swore he tried to return that kiss.

Rose felt her heart start to race as her hopes began to climb with it.

"You _can_ hear me, I know you can...it's me, its Rose.."

And she did it again, running her fingers through his silky hair as her lips touched his and she kissed him again.

She felt it happen again, his lips parted and she felt him respond, although briefly.

"Wake up!" she said impatiently, and she ran her hand over his chest, then gently kissed him again.

This time it felt like there was no response once more, but it had given her hope.

Then she heard the front door close, and she smiled as she watched him sleeping.

"Mum's back. I have to tell her the good news."

And she kissed him again, this time on his cheek, and got up from the bed and left the room.

* * *

 _"Mum!"_ she said, and Jackie dropped the shopping bags in the hallway, looking to her daughter in alarm.

"Oh no, what's happened now?" she said, hurrying up the hallway to meet her.

It was then she noticed Rose looked elated.

"Something _good_ just happened! I was kissing him and I think the Doctor responded!"

Jackie's eyes widened.

"Oh Rose, I don't think you should be doing _that_ to him..What _else_ have you been doing? Don't forget, he's in a _coma_...You shouldn't be messing about with him like _that_ -"

"But I think he heard me, he felt me touch him!"

"I don't want to _think_ about what you've been doing to him, Rose! You have to _stop_ that, it's not right..."

Jackie turned back, picked up her shopping bags and then headed for the kitchen as Rose went with her.

"But Mum, you're not hearing me...I think he's improving!"

She saw hope in her daughter's eyes and she wasn't sure whether to be glad about that or not, because the Doctor had not seemed at all responsive last time she had looked in on him.

"I think you're desperate to hope for it," she said to her, "And you're probably reading it wrong. Put the shopping away for me, I'll go in and say hello and see if he can hear me."

Rose was unpacking the shopping.

"I know I'm right," she said, "He might do it, he might wake up one day...I haven't given up hope yet."

And Jackie said nothing in reply as she left the room, wondering if her daughter's imagination had got the better of her.

* * *

As Jackie went into the bedroom, she saw the Doctor was in bed, on his side, his eyes were closed and he was breathing steadily, and she could not see any apparent change in him at all.

She went over to his bedside and spoke quietly to him.

"Doctor?" she said, "Can you hear me?"

He gave a sigh.

"Maybe not," Jackie murmured.

" _Yes, yes, I can hear you,"_ he said, and he sounded tired.

Jackie stared at him.

The Doctor opened his eyes and blinked and then he sat up stiffly, leant back against the pillows and took in his surroundings, and as he struggled to recall the details, his eyes widened in alarm as he pulled the covers up to his waist.

"You're really awake!" Jackie exclaimed.

He looked nervously at Rose's mother.

"I have _no_ recollection of why I'm here, at least not yet," he said.

"I need to fetch Rose -"

" _Wait!"_

Jackie turned back and it was then she noticed how worried he looked.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"This is really important, I need you to tell me something," the Doctor said as he looked nervously to his girlfriend's mother, _"Just be honest with me... Why am I naked and sleeping in your bed?"_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jackie's reaction to his question seemed even more confusing as she laughed, and then she hugged him and as she let go of him, the Doctor saw relief shining in her eyes.

"I was wrong about everything...when I said Earth was the safest place..." emotion was overcoming her once more as she blinked away tears, "Oh you lovely man, it's _so_ good to have you back! And I'm sorry I said all that about danger in outer space...you don't remember? _It was a bomb, Doctor. You and Rose were in town and...it was a terrorist bomb!_ "

Then she dissolved into tears as she hugged him again.

" _Thank god you're back with us!"_

Finally, she let him go and wiped her eyes.

"I'll tell Rose you're awake. Just stay there - don't even try and get up yet!"

And then she left the room.

 _A terrorist bomb?_

The Doctor thought hard.

The pieces were coming together now:

 _A blast that had knocked him and Rose to the floor, and then a ceiling cracking open, him covering her just as it fell...And he had lost consciousness before telling Rose the coma was self induced to repair his injuries..._

" _Oh Rose,"_ he whispered, as his hearts ached for her. He could only imagine the pain and anguish she had suffered believing he would never recover...

* * *

Rose had just finished putting the shopping away.

As her mother walked into the kitchen she noticed she looked happier, and she smiled too.

"I told you he can hear us! You can see it now, right?"

"Better than that," Jackie said, " _He just woke up, Rose_. He woke up and he's absolutely fine!"

Rose stared at her.

"He's -"

" _Awake!"_ Jackie exclaimed, and the look of relief on her daughter's face was enough to bring tears to her eyes all over again.

Rose dashed past her and ran up the hallway towards the bedroom, and Jackie stayed in the kitchen, pausing to wipe her eyes, then she decided she really ought to give those two some time alone - because suddenly she felt like they needed that space.

* * *

" _Doctor!"_

As Rose ran over to his bedside, his face lit up in a warm smile as she sat beside him, and then he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"I thought..."

He was still embracing her, and he didn't let go.

" _You thought wrong."_

He pulled back a little and looked into her eyes.

"Rose, I'm so sorry, I didn't have time to explain what I was going to do – I put myself into a coma to heal my injuries. To everyone else around me it must have seemed like I was dying, but I wasn't. I'm sorry you went though so much worry."

She blinked.

"You did it _yourself_?"

"I had no choice, it was either that or regenerate. And I'm not ready to go, I'm planning to be around for a _very_ long time!"

Rose blinked away tears.

"Let me look at you..."

As she ran her fingers though his hair and looked into his eyes, he smiled again.

"I'm fine!"

She pulled him closer, and the kiss they shared set her mind at rest - he was _definitely_ recovered...

But as she sat beside him and he saw a look in her eyes that said she wanted more, he rested back against pillows and quickly explained something she didn't know.

"I'm exhausted, Rose. It's going to take a couple of days before I'm over this. My body has been working hard, I wasn't resting."

"I'm not surprised," she said quietly, "You should have seen the state of you after the explosion. Everyone thought you was dying. When we were on board the ship-"

" _What ship?"_

Now he was suddenly alert once more despite his fatigue.

"I'll tell you later."

"No, tell me _now_. A ship? An alien ship? Aliens were responsible for the explosion?"

It was too late to change it now. The Doctor missed nothing, even after all he had been through, he _still_ missed nothing...

"You said you need to rest."

His dark eyes met with hers.

"Tell me everything that happened, Rose. Leave nothing out!"

And she gave a heavy sigh as she wondered how she could manage to do that without telling him about her _own_ problem.

"We were teleported out of the bomb site by the Judoon. They were interviewing witnesses, they were trying to find the bombers. Then when it was my turn I was told they had the bombers, and they were working for an alien source. They wouldn't tell me any more..." Rose fell silent as pain reflected in her eyes.

"Go on," the Doctor said patiently.

"And then I was taken to see you – they sent a medic with lilac sort of eyes because she was the closest on board to my species. This was when I was told you would never wake up. They said the coma was permanent."

"It would have seemed that way because I'd shut myself down," the Doctor told her, "So what happened next?"

Talking about it made it no easier to bear as she felt as if the whole awful time was being dragged up to become vivid as yesterday once again.

"She talked to me about how there was no chance that you would recover and I thought she was right. Then this _other_ woman came up and took over and said she had been assigned to take us back to Earth. And we teleported here, back to the flat. Me and mum swapped rooms so I could stay with you all the time and then we just waited."

The Doctor was thinking over all she had said, and there was something in there that he was sure he ought to spot, but he was still tired and his mind was not quite sharp enough yet.

"There's something I don't get," he told her, "It's in there, but I don't know what it is yet...it _will_ come to me."

Rose frowned.

"Like what?"

"I don't know...let me think...are you sure you didn't miss anything out?"

She thought about the drugs, felt guilty and shook her head.

It was then as he looked at her, the Doctor noticed something that until now,he had felt too weary to spot.

"Rose, you look worn out!"

She smiled and her eyes shone in a dull kind of way.

"I thought I was losing you. I'm not surprised it shows on my face."

But the Doctor wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure it's nothing else?You look terrible."

She forced a laugh.

"Thanks a lot Doctor, it's just that I've been more worried about keeping you alive than getting enough sleep or putting on my make up!"

"I didn't mean it like that, Rose. I'm serious, you don't look well."

"I'm okay," she replied, and he was not convinced, but said no more on the subject as he thought back to all she had said, wondering why her story didn't sound quite right.

"Okay, so the bomb was alien. I get that part...But that girl...purple eyes..something you said about her...what have I missed?"

Rose shook her head.

"Nothing - but her eyes weren't exactly purple more like lavender or lilac or -"

"It doesn't matter that I'm a TimeLord, I'm _still_ a bloke," he reminded her, "Don't start on shades of colour like you want to pick from a paint chart to decorate a room. No lilac or lavender and as for mauve, _forget it_ , I have _no_ clue what _that_ looks like! _Let's just say her eyes were purple!_ "

Rose smiled.

"Okay. The girl with _purple_ eyes came to see me because she had to give me bad news and the Judoon thought it was better coming from her."

"Why her?"

Now the Doctor's mind was sharpening up.

"Because they said -"

"She was the _only_ humanoid on board?"

 _He got it now..._

"But she wasn't, because the _other_ woman teleported you back to Earth. Did she have purple eyes too?"

Rose shook her head.

"She looked completely human."

The Doctor's eyes widened as the pieces fell into place.

"So if the Judoon had wanted to send you a medic with humanoid appearance it would have been her instead of purple eyes! Don't you see? She wasn't a medic. I don't know who she was but she must have sneaked on boad the ship...following us. But why?"

"I don't know," Rose said quietly, and the thought of talking about Missy filled her with dread as much as the notion that the Doctor was wide awake and resting in bed - and that case was under the bed and tomorrow she would need to take a hit, because the bottle was running low already. She was getting greedy for the stuff...

"What happened to the woman who teleported us back here?"

"She came with us. She said she wanted to jump ship because the Judoon paid lousy wages."

The Doctor's eyes clouded with confusion.

"No, that can't be right. The Judoon are very good employers - swift in deliverance of justice when it comes to catching criminals, but very, _very_ good employers because they believe obsessively in fairness and ensuring workers rights are respected. What she told you was a lie. What happened after that?"

Rose paused. She became tearful but managed to pull it back as she looked away from him, avoiding his gaze.

" _Just leave it..."_

As she sat beside him looking away, as he thought about the pain he heard in her voice, the Doctor started to worry.

"Rose," he said gently, and he placed his hand on her cheek, turning her face towards him, so once again they were making eye contact, "What ever it is that's happened, I _will_ understand," he promised her, "You _know_ that! Now tell me the rest."

Rose took a heavy breath.

"The woman who came back to earth with us said she was staying on – I don't know where, she said she knew the planet quite well. She came back here to check on you but instead she made a move on me, she tried to kiss me, she said she used to be a man? And she said when she was alone with you, she had a good look at you and it turned her on. I threw her out!"

The Doctor stared at her.

"I have no idea who you're talking about. I keep feeling as if I ought to know, but...a woman who used to be a _man_? No, doesn't ring any bells with me at all..."

"That's all I know," she said, and the guilt in her heart weighed heavy, "She was just a woman from the Judoon ship and now I don't know where she is. She never came back."

"But if she did," the Doctor promised as he put his arm around her, "She'll have _me_ to deal with this time, so forget just about her!"

And Rose smiled at last, her mood lifted by the reassurance of his closeness.

* * *

Missy rarely felt fear, because her unbalanced mind cancelled out the option. But now, as the signal had cleared and she was looking at the screen set into her Tardis console and the eye stalk of a Dalek looked back at her, she did feel it, and that fear was growing by the second...

" _You were in the vicinity of the explosion you were taken to the Judoon ship you will explain!"_ barked the metallic voice.

"I had no choice. Everyone was taken."

" _Your tracking device was part scrambled. Ex-plain!"_

She paused, studying her finger nails, refusing to show a fraction of the fear she felt at the thought that the Daleks could kill her instantly if they chose to do so.

"Blame the Judoon," she said, and then she looked to the Dalek as her ice pale blue eyes shone cold:

"I _didn't_ talk. I avoided them and used their own device to get back to earth. They won't even miss me."

" _Where is the replicator?"_

"Safe."

" _You will guard the replicator without it you have no further purpose and will be ex-ter-min-ated!"_

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, what ever you say...Of _course_ I have it safe! I am awaiting your instruction."

" _You will continue to wait. The Judoon are still investigating."_

Missy was struggling to hold back her temper now.

"Yes, and I shall continue to wait on you, I'm _jus_ t a Time Lady, who am _I_ to question the might of your army so _small_ that it needs to enslave the people of this miserable planet before making a take over bid? If only you were a mighty fleet instead of a rogue cell of what used to be part of a powerful army. I do _so_ hate it when ships like yours fall through holes straight out of the Time War. Gaps in time, what a pain in the rear end! Good thing the Doctor isn't around to seal the rip."

The Dalek became agitated as it shifted left and right, its eye stalk jerking sharply as it tried to focus on the screen.

" _THE DOCTOR IS THE ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! HE MUST BE DESTROYED!"_

Missy stood watching the Dalek display of rage as if it bored her.

"Well, you've got Missy now, _not_ the enemy of the Daleks. I am your _ally_. Perhaps you should treat me like one and release this bracelet so I'm not carrying a device that could kill me if you have a bad day!"

" _Attempts to remove the device will result in extermination!"_

"I knew that was coming. Don't you ever do anything unpredictable, like sing or whistle? How about some poetry – or limericks, do you know any dirty ones? "

" _You will await instruction,"_ the Dalek repeated, and the screen shut down.

Missy gave a sigh.

"Daleks," she said aloud, "No sense of humour at all..."

It was then she thought of her plan, the only option left now to escape:

She had to find a way to gain the Doctor's trust, because the Daleks had not yet discovered he was here on Earth. They would not be following his Tardis when it left...

 _The Doctor really was her only hope now._

All Missy could hope was that he wouldn't pay too much attention to the nonsense his girlfriend came out with about her – and surely, he _would_ see it that way, given the fact that his Rose now had a rather nasty drug problem...

* * *

Several hours had passed since the Doctor had woken up. In all that time Rose had not left his side, and as she lay beside him watching him sleep to recover his energy, she felt sure her joy at his recovery had made all the worries come crashing down and away from her so fast she felt like an emotional wreck all over again.

 _Maybe she would have felt this way without the drugs._

 _Maybe not._

 _She just couldn't accurately understand her own moods any more._

 _But she did know she was happy the Doctor was recovered,and that was all that really mattered now..._

It was late evening when he woke up and he looked to the window to see clouds sliding in over the colourful evening sunset, and as Rose turned on her side and shifted closer he looked into her eyes.

"Feeling better?" she asked him.

"I think so," he replied, "But maybe you should make _sure_ of that..."

And as he playfully tugged on the zip that held her top together she giggled, and then they kissed, and moments later her top was on the floor with the rest of her clothing, and she and the Doctor were together beneath cool sheets as he took her in his arms, proving to her he was most definitely recovered now.

* * *

Rose slept heavily that night, and when she woke it was early morning and the Doctor was not beside her. She sat up and was about to call his name and then she paused, hearing him talking further down the hall as he thanked her mum for a lovely cup of tea.

Rose got out of bed and wrapped herself in a silken robe, tied it at the waist and then considered having a shower. Then she looked at the clock and realised it was way past her time for another fix.

Just the thought of it was enough to make the ache sink deep to her bones.

Rose knelt down on the floor and took the case from under the bed. Her heart was racing and she was sure it was more than withdrawal - she had to find another place to keep the replicator, because right under the bed she was currently sharing with her lover was not the best place - what about when they left? She would have to take it to the Tardis, and find an excuse for bringing it along. She had toyed with the idea of saying it was a make up case, although it looked a little too sturdy and solid to simply house cosmetics...

She activated the machine within and as she heard the click and the compartment opened, the sound was almost divine. She grabbed the bottle of blue liquid, closed the lid of the case and shoved it back under the bed.

Then she got up and sat on the edge of the bed, uncapped the bottle and looked at the deep blue liquid within and wished she could swim in it. Then Rose brought it up to her nose, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, and for a moment, she thought the skies outside had cleared away and she was flying up there amongst the swirl of blue heaven.

All of her tension left her, the high lasted more than a minute, climbing down gracefully to settle as a mellow buzz that faded a little, then as she opened her eyes the blue tint to the world around her also faded out.

Now she felt pleasantly relaxed, but not nearly enough...

She capped the bottle and wondered, was that why she seemed to be replicating it more and more lately? It seemed her tolerance level was going up, and now she wasn't just taking little sniffs of the stuff, she was inhaling deeply and greedily as it evaporated, keen to take in every last trace of it. In fact she was starting to think one long breath of one of these bottles, and it would all be gone in one go...now that was a little _too_ much, although she imagined the buzz from it would be bloody good.

She didn't _want_ to think like that, but the drug was making her do it...

Then she looked up, and closed her hand about the bottle and shoved it under her silken robe as she caught her breath, surprised to see the Doctor standing there in the doorway.

He was wearing his brown suit, he had his coat on, and the suit had no tears from the explosion and his coat was immaculate.

"You look great!" she said in surprise.

The Doctor stepped into the room, saying nothing as he walked over to her, then he stood there looking down at her with his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"You mum got my suit repaired, she had my clothes cleaned up after the explosion. At the time I'm not sure if she thought I'd be wearing them again or if she expected me to be buried in them, but all the same, it was the thought that counts."

Rose was still sitting on the bed, her hand over the bottle she had shoved beneath a fold of her robe.

"Yeah, that was nice," she said, "A nice thought."

And he frowned for a moment as he caught the trace of blue around her nose, and since he had just seen her inhaling, and seen _what_ she had been inhaling, he now understood why she looked so tired and her eyes carried a dull shine...

" _I need to talk to you."_

"About what, Doctor?"

He sat down beside her and slipped his hand beneath her robe, grabbing that the bottle of blue liquid.

"About this," he said.

She gave a gasp as he took it from her, and as she looked into his eyes, the darkness she saw there was anger - but she knew that anger was not directed at her.

"I saw you inhaling," he said to her, "This," he held up the bottle, "Is a highly addictive banned substance called Blue Ice – its made from a plant called the Blue Reaper Poppy that is found in the Spearpoint Proxima Galaxy. It came about initially as a weapon used in chemical warfare. Then drug dealers got hold of it and now it's the most notorious brand of A class in the universe."

Tears filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't know...at the time I was so low, I was so lost...I thought I was losing you and _she_ said it was safe, _she_ said it would help me cope."

The Doctor was trying hard to contain his anger.

"Who did?"

"The woman from the ship, she gave me the drug, she gave me a replicator machine too."

His eyes widened.

"Where is it?"

"Here..."

Rose reached down and pulled the case from under the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said again, "I wanted to tell you but I kept thinking eventually I could handle this, I could _stop_ taking it -"

"That's a portable machine capable of enslaving an entire planet!" the Doctor exclaimed, "Rose, this has to _stop_!"

She gave a sob.

"But I can't," she said tearfully, "Please forgive me..."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as he waited for her sobbing to ease up.

"There's nothing to forgive," he said gently as he stroked her hair, "This isn't your fault, Rose. _None of this your fault_. And I'm going to put this right."

As she took in a deep breath and pulled back on her tears, he loosened his grip on her, pulling back enough to look into her eyes.

"Just tell me one thing, that's all you have to do. _I want her name._ I want the name of the woman who did this to you."

Her eyes were still glazed from weeping and a tear ran down her face as she looked back at him, still begging for forgiveness even though she knew the Doctor well enough to know he understood, and was on her side.

"Just tell me her name," he said again, sounding calm as beneath the surface his anger was building as he silently made a vow to track down the person responsible for plunging Rose into this nightmare.

"Her name is Missy," Rose said tearfully.

"Thank you," he told her, and then he embraced her again, but although his embrace was tender, as he held her she did not see the rage that darkened his gaze.

" _Missy,"_ he repeated, _"That was all I needed - a name. Don't worry Rose, it's going to be fine. I'll make it fine. And I'm going to find this Missy if I have to search the whole of time and space , what ever it takes, I'll do it. I'm going to hunt her down..."_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Rose was quiet for a while as the Doctor held her, then he let go and knelt down on the floor and opened up the case.

" _What are you doing?"_

He heard panic in her voice and didn't look up to see the fear he knew would be in her eyes as she realised what he was about to do.

"Obviously I can't let you manufacture any more of that substance. I'm going to create the antidote as a one off command and then I'm leaving the replicator and the drugs intact and taking them with me. I need to hand this thing over to people who can dispose of it properly – certainly _not_ here on Earth!"

Rose felt her heart begin to race as her mood slipped into something that threatened close to panic.

"You're leaving? You're taking that replicator with you? What about me?"

The Doctor had just switched a setting on his screwdriver. He looked up at Rose as she sat there on the edge of the bed with fear in her eyes – far too much fear than he ever cared to see again.

"You haven't been taking it very long. I can make the antidote up and then leave you to rest while I safely dispose of the drugs and the replicator. Can you imagine what would happen to this planet if it fell into the wrong hands?"

 _Rose had already imagined that._

She said nothing as she nodded.

Then he turned on the screwdriver and directed it at the back of the machine, giving it a quick blast. As the screwdriver fell silent and he put it in his pocket, he paused for thought.

"There's a legend around the cure for this addiction – it started hundreds of years ago and it still stands today. I'll share it with you later."

And he flipped open a hidden panel to reveal a numeric keypad and quickly keyed in a number sequence and then hit the main button.

The panel opened up and he took out a capped bottle that contained clear liquid and then handed it to Rose.

"Drink this now and then sleep. It will knock you out for a couple of days. Then you'll be clear of the substance."

Rose stared at him.

" _A couple of days?"_

"That's right."

He closed the case, got up and lifted the case from the floor.

Rose got up too and looked pleadingly into his eyes.

"Please don't tell my mum! I could tell her anything but this, _not_ drugs..."

The Doctor's gaze was filled with understanding.

"This drug is a poison," he said to her, "A poison that will draw you in on the first hit and grab hold of your mind and body and take over. And no one can come off it without this detox. And no one deserves the level of pain they suffer if they try. People have died going cold turkey on Blue Ice."

"So what can we say to her?"

The look in his eyes softened.

"Leave it to me," he said, and he gently touched her face, "Just take it now and go to sleep. By the time you wake up I'll be back for you."

Rose uncapped the bottle and downed the contents in one. It tasted vile and she gave a gasp, her eyes watering at its bitterness.

"Now sleep," the Doctor told her, and as she lay back on the bed, he leant over her and kissed her.

" _Sleep,"_ he repeated, and she slipped into a deep sleep, at the command of his voice.

The Doctor stood over her for a moment watching her sleep, feeling relieved that his ability to do that to her had just saved her the agony of the echoes of withdrawal as the drug was neutralised and removed from her system.

Then he left the room, taking the case with him, and closed the door behind him.

* * *

" _Jackie, I need to explain something."_

Rose's mother had just made some tea.

"Would you like one, Doctor?" she asked brightly, and he shook his head.

"I don't want to worry you because there is nothing to worry about – at least, not now – but I've just realised Rose was exposed to some toxic chemicals when she was caught up in the explosion. It's nothing to concern you, I just gave her the antidote. When she wakes she will be fine, but she will sleep for a couple of days. Trust me - and know I have helped her and she _will_ be well when she wakes. You know I'd never let her down."

A flicker of alarm flashed to Jackie's eyes, but then it was gone as she remembered how the Doctor had covered Rose as the ceiling came down – of _course_ he had done it again, he was protecting her...

"Are you sure she's going to be okay?"

"Yes," the Doctor assured her, and then he went over to cupboard and opened it up and looked inside.

"Mind if I borrow this?"

Jackie had no clue why he wanted a bottle of blue food colouring, but she nodded.

"Okay."

Then the Doctor grabbed a note pad and pen, wrote something down, then he tore off the paper and folded it in half, then in half again.

"I'll be back in two days," he promised her, "By then Rose will be awake and just like the Rose you love, and I suspect, have missed as much as I have."

"I thought she wasn't right," Jackie told him, "She looked so tired all the time."

"Well she's going to be fine two days from now. I have to make a quick trip in the Tardis, and then I'm coming back. I won't be long."

Jackie walked with him to the front door.

"You take care," she told him.

The Doctor smiled.

"Always," he promised her, "I love Rose too much to do otherwise."

Then he handed her the folded piece of paper.

"This is for Rose. Give it to her when she wakes. Don't read it, just hand it to her when she wakes up. She'll wake before I get back. Promise me you won't forget, it's something special between us."

"Okay," she said as she wondered what was written on it, and then he left the flat and walked away with the silver case, heading down into the estate and the shadowy corner where his Tardis was waiting.

* * *

The Doctor looked about carefully as he made his way up to the Tardis, and seeing no one about, he let himself in and closed the door behind him.

After all that had happened, it felt good to be home. As much as he loved Earth, the Tardis was his real home and coming back to it after a long and painful absence it was a feeling like no other and he stood there for a moment, looking around at the console and the familiar glow of the vast interior, and he swore he could almost feel her greeting him warmly, his ship knew he had returned.

And although he was fully recovered now, he wanted so much to crawl into his own bed and sleep to shake off the last of the tiredness caused by his body working so hard to repair the damage while he had been in the coma -

but he had something to do, and it was important - and he would start by cleaning the case, so it was free of Rose's fingerprints..

The Doctor cleaned the case carefully, checking several times to be sure no trace of Rose remained on the replicator. Then he closed the lid, stood the case up in the corner of the console room and took off his rubber gloves.

That case was now clean, and waiting for the owner to put their prints all over it, and he had a feeling that soon she would...

* * *

After the case was clean, the Doctor took the empty bottle, uncapped it and used a device on the console to sterilise it, he didn't need to because it was empty, but it had been inside the replicator and he wanted _no_ trace of that poison to remain, not even the faintest trace...

Then he added the food colouring from Jackie's kitchen cupboard to the clean bottle and topped it up with water.

He capped the bottle and held it up to the light and smiled:

It was perfect. It looked _exactly_ like a bottle of Blue Ice...

Now the trap was set, he thought of the woman named Missy and how she had seemed to have more than a passing interest in him:

 _Did she know he was a TimeLord?_

It seemed unlikely she would understand what that meant, given that he was the last of his kind – but after all he had experienced in his travels over the centuries, he had come to understand that _anything_ was possible.

 _Maybe she wanted his Tardis._

 _Or maybe she wanted him._

 _Perhaps both, if he considered all Rose had told him..._

And his hearts felt heavy with anger as he thought of that woman and those drugs and what she had done to Rose. Then he wondered what _else_ she was mixed up in – the bomb had been alien. The Judoon were seeking the culprits behind it. This was something serious, something that looked like a plan to attack Earth. And if the replicator was anything to do with it, Missy was tied up in it all...

As he thought of what she had done to Rose, he gripped the console so hard his knuckles turned white and his usually soft gaze darkened almost to black, reflecting his rage:

 _For a fleeting moment, he had imagined finding Missy and killing her._

 _Or perhaps feeding her a few of those vapours to let her see what Rose was going through._

But he was _not_ a man who set out to cause harm, and never would be, and that was the _only_ choice he would ever make – but it was also the hardest one, yet he had made that choice over and over again when faced with the decision to fight back or destroy an enemy, especially one who posed a threat and had already caused terrible harm.

" _No,"_ he said in a low voice as the lights of the console room glowed around him and cast his darkened gaze to an unearthly hue, _"No, I won't kill. I will never do that...there's always another way..."_

And then he opened up the communications channel and made a call that went out deep into space...

* * *

Much later as shadows lengthened over the estate as evening fell, the Doctor had not yet left. He was still in his Tardis, waiting, because he felt sure Missy would eventually come to him, in fact he desperately hoped that she would – because if she didn't, looking for an apparently human female who had chosen to vanish amongst the population of Earth would be like searching for a needle in a haystack...

 _He had formulated his plan._

 _All the pieces were in place now, making for a perfect trap._

 _He had worked on the assumption that Missy clearly wanted him – something he could certainly twist to his own advantage._

 _But he had no intention of cheating on Rose as much as he wanted to fool Missy and see to it that she got what she deserved. So he had devised a plan to make an excuse should she become too close to him – he was going to lie and say the coma had not quite repaired him fully, and he was for now, unable to share her physical need for love..._

The Doctor had spent some time in his room, working on how to make his claim of being far from recovered sound believable. Now his tie was off and his shirt was partly open and his jacket was unbuttoned and his coat was also open, making it look as if he needed that extra room to breathe, because pain did that. He had found a cane at the back of a wardrobe and now it was beside him, so he could lean on it, giving the impression he was far from healed.

 _That ought to cool her off a bit when she did show up..._

And he didn't have to wait much longer, because moments later, he heard the Tardis door open...

He was standing with his back to her facing the console, but as she entered the room, he smiled a sly smile as he reached for his cane:

 _The game was about to begin..._

* * *

"Doctor?"

She had spoken softly as she walked up to him. That took him by surprise, because he hadn't expected her to be capable of such softness of voice...

He leant on the cane as he turned to face her – and knew her at once, this was the woman who had left the shopping centre just before the bomb went off. She looked different now, she wore a floral dress and all trace of the Victorian look was gone – clearly, she had been trying to blend in here on Earth. Looking at her, as she smiled and her hair caught the glow of the Tardis as it rested in dark waves that fell to her shoulders, he felt as if his twin hearts may as well have turned to stone with the anger he felt toward this woman:

 _If she hadn't set the device to explode, she certainly must have known those who did..._

"You must be Missy," he said, and briefly put his hand to his back as discomfort registered on his face,"Sorry...I'm still in pain. That coma was my doing - to repair myself - but I don't think it _quite_ did the job..."

Then he drew in a slow breath, let it out as if trying to control the pain, and leant on his cane as he met her gaze.

"Missy...it is Missy?I mean, is that your real name?"

"It is."

"Missy, who walks into a Tardis and isn't even remotely surprised it's so much bigger on the inside. Missy, who must have known something about the bombing and is mixed up deep in trouble with people who perhaps she underestimated...You _are_ in trouble?"

She slowly nodded.

"I'm human," she lied, "from an Earth colony a long way for this planet. I wanted to travel and see the universe and some how it all went wrong," and her pale eyes hardened as steel, "I went wrong _with_ it, I guess."

"An easy mistake to make," he replied coldly, "But... if you think you're getting your hands on that replicator, you can think again, Missy! Do you have any idea how much that thing is worth? And Blue Ice..." he laughed, "Come on, I'm the Doctor. You think I'd kiss _that_ goodbye in a hurry?"

And his eyes danced with amusement as he took the bottle from his pocket, uncapped it and inhaled deeply. As he capped the bottle again and put it away, his head was tilted back, his eyes were closed and he began to smile.

"Oh yes...I _love_ this stuff!"

Then he straightened up, blinked a few times and his smile faded.

"What's the matter, Missy? Let me guess, you've heard of me, but never thought I was into something like this? I've been using for centuries!"

Then he blinked again, looking at her with a sparkle in his eyes.

"That's more like it! Great painkiller, too - is there anything this stuff can't do?"

Missy was still staring at him in surprise as she took in the sight of the Doctor, who she had never known to be a user of Blue Ice. But clearly he was, because his mood was very _up_ all of a sudden...

"I thought you might hate me over the misunderstanding with Rose."

" _Rose?"_

Deep at the back of his eyes, anger burned but he refused to let her see it, because it was anger that was carrying him through this to ensure Missy got what she deserved, and he knew he couldn't let his act drop now, not even for one second of weakness...

She stepped closer to him.

"It was Rose who stole the replicator. I told her not to try the drug but she wouldn't listen. I hope she's okay."

The Doctor had one hand on the cane and the other on the edge of the console as he briefly looked away from her, hiding a moment of raw anger.

" _Rose?"_

He looked back at Missy, "Nah, she was nothing to me. Just another human...Sorry, that was no insult to you, _Missy human from a colony planet..._ Some humans are more useful than others. And you could be _very_ useful to me."

She was doing it again, staring at him as if his attitude had stunned her.

He had no clue why because it was not as if the woman knew him at all...

"In what way, Doctor?"

She stepped even closer,and he had caught the look in her eyes, heard the seductive tone in her voice and now he knew for sure his plan would work.

He smiled.

"In any way I see fit. I'm buzzing _so_ high on this stuff if I wasn't so badly injured I'd have you right now up against that console."

Then he winked, and Missy returned his smile.

"I'd like nothing better, Doctor."

"Sounds like a plan," he announced, and she gave a gasp as his next action took her by surprise, making the ship lurch as he hit the controls and the Tardis jolted as it took off, heading out into time and space.

* * *

Missy looked uneasy now, and it added to his enjoyment of his revenge to know that she really believed he had got himself high and then taken off into space and was flying the Tardis whilst still on a buzz.

"Where are we going?" she asked nervously.

The Doctor laughed, took the bottle from his pocket and inhaled from it again.

"Gimme a minute...Oh. That. _Was_ a strong one..."

He breathed slowly, as if waiting for the high to wear down, then capped the bottle again and put it back in his pocket.

"We," he announced, are off to a quiet little planet called Jalea-Echo 3. It's a very picturesque and tranquil place, you may have heard of it as you're a colonist – it's often a holiday destination for former Earth people who want to get away somewhere quiet. There's a lovely hotel there and I'm going to book us the honeymoon suite. You can help me take it easy while the pain wears off, and we can make our plans."

"Plans?"Missy wondered, "What plans might those be, Doctor?"

"Plans for the replicator," he replied, "I want you to open that thing up and take it apart and put it back together so I can study all the specifications. Then we can replicate the replicator! _Then_ we can take control of the universe, one galaxy at a time!"

Missy's eyes were wide.

" _You_ want to take over galaxies?"

The Doctor laughed, but then his smile faded and his eyes darkened.

"Why not? My home planet of Gallifrey is gone. _Think_ about that. Don't you think you would feel ever so slightly bitter, being the last of your kind with a home world destroyed? This has been a _long_ time coming."

And suddenly Missy felt uneasy.

She had always dreamed of the Doctor becoming dark, of him turning away from his fight against evil, and now it seemed it had happened...yet when she thought back to her former life as Harold Saxon she wondered what had gone wrong to make him such a worthy adversary back then.

She also wondered what consequences would come about to her own time line if she could keep him in this frame of mind...

 _She knew she wanted to._

But the past was all a blur anyway, to Missy here and now was all that mattered as they sped through space and the stars rushed past the Tardis as it went onwards, heading for its destination.

"We should be landing soon."

The Doctor had taken a seat on a comfortable chair near the console, and she had joined him, cautiously placing her hand on his leg and rubbing it gently as she noticed he was still leaning on his cane.

"So this coma...explain to me, Doctor. I know nothing of your species."

"I'm a TimeLord," he replied, "I can regenerate instead of dying...new body, new face, new everything. But I had an alternative to regeneration after the bomb blast, I put myself into the coma so my body could repair itself. But it hasn't quite worked as well as I hoped it would."

And he glanced down at her hand as she rested it on his knee, her touch was warm through the fabric of his suit and he knew the physical reaction he was enjoying at her touch was purely automatic- it had nothing to do with love, because his heart was with Rose – he was doing _all_ of this for Rose...

"So we can't be too intimate, not yet. You'll have to be patient with me. But I want to be, Missy."

He locked his gaze with hers.

She needed no second telling, leaning closer and melting into his arms as he kept his eyes closed as he kissed her and thought only of Rose.

As he broke off from the kiss, he breathed heavily, but only because it was a sweet relief to no longer be in the arms of that woman.

Her face was flushed and she was a little breathless, and by the look in her eyes, he knew he had her now...

"You will never know how I've longed for you to kiss me!" she exclaimed, and he smiled and inwardly felt more than a little sick, "Ever since the day I saw you on the Judoon ship..." she added.

"You fancied me when I was a bomb victim in a coma? Well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a bit different."

"No, I meant...I took one look at you and -"

"Rose told me you used to be a man? That can''t be true, a woman as beautiful as you... I mean, you must have always been a woman...you're so... _womanly_..."

She laughed.

"Rose was high, don't listen to a word she says! Of course I've always been a woman! And I'm a very patient woman," she added seductively as she leant closer and looked into his eyes, "I can wait for a very long time, it doesn't matter if you take years to heal, Doctor. I can wait for you because you're worth it."

And then the Tardis landed, and he breathed a relieved sigh, then remembered to lean on the cane as he got up, to keep up the pretence of his injuries lingering.

"Time to go and book that room," he said to her, "You can carry the case for me – and once we're alone, I want you to take that thing apart so I can figure out how to replicate it."

She picked up the case and smiled.

"This is a wonderful plan, Doctor!"

" _It certainly is,"_ he murmured, heading for the door and feeling thankful they would, for a while, have a little distance between them until they got to the hotel:

 _The plan was going well._

 _Now it was time to move it along, moving Missy towards the endgame and the punishment she truly deserved..._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Missy opened up the double doors to the bedroom and then turned around, her eyes shining as she looked to the Doctor.

"Lovely honeymoon suite! _And_ a four poster bed...we really ought to test out the mattress, what do you think, Doctor?"

This plan was _not_ going to well for the Doctor – at least, not the part about keeping Missy at arm's length. He had considered pretending to be in such pain that he needed a lie down – but she would have gone with him and he didn't want to think about what _that_ could lead to. As much as he loved Rose, his TimeLord status did nothing to change the fact that he was a man with the urges of any other - and if she were persuasive enough, there would be a point of no return - and he _really_ didn't want to let that happen.

"You look tired, Doctor," she said as she took in the sight of him leaning on his cane, "I think we should have a lie down. _Together._ "

"I think you should sit out here with me," he told her, and then he sat down on a sofa, struggling a little as he lie back on it, remembering to be sure Missy could see he was _definitely_ out of action for what she had in mind.

"And do what?" she asked.

Then he indicated to the carpeted floor beside the sofa.

"You can sit down there, and I can watch you take the replicator apart. I'm far too tired to be doing anything but watch, Missy. We need to see how that thing is put together so we can build more of them!"

All thoughts of the bedroom had left her now as she sat down on the floor, extending long and shapely legs as her a skirt slid to her thighs and she opened up the case.

She paused to turn her head and look at the Doctor.

"Do you like what you see?"

He forced a smile.

"Very much. Now get to work, I'll reward you later."

As Missy began to open up compartments and remove the parts that were not fixed to the case, the Doctor settled back against the softness of the sofa,letting his thoughts drift home to Rose:

 _Perhaps home would always be where ever she was. He knew she would be just fine now, but he still wanted to be there when she woke up – although he doubted he would make it, because he knew how long his plan would take and she would most likely already be awake when he returned._

 _And then she would read his note. He hoped when she did, she would feel better about everything she had been through..._

"I always dreamt of this," Missy said as she continued to work, "You and me, like this...I mean not always, just since I met you, I mean...since Missy and the Doctor first laid eyes on each other."

" _At the shopping centre, moments before the blast."_

His words had sounded calm and measured, with a sudden hint of anger beneath the surface, and she caught a glimpse of that in his eyes as she turned her head and met his gaze as he lie on the sofa.

" _I didn't know about the bomb,"_ she told him, and her voice trembled as her twin hearts fluttered like frightened birds trapped in a cage as she thought how terrible it would be to lose him now, this magnificent man who she wanted in her bed for the rest of eternity...No, she couldn't mess this up,not with him...

 _Perhaps she was falling in love._

If she was, she wouldn't be surprised. Already the thought of losing her handsome lover filled her with dread...

The Doctor was looking at her calmly, no show of emotion about him at all.

"But you knew there would be an explosion. You just didn't know where. Now tell me, Missy – if you want us to be together I want all the details because if there's secrets in the way, our partnership won't work. Tell me who was selfish or evil enough to force you to work for them and then put you at risk of dying from one of their own explosions. Who has such little regard for the lives of their allies, Missy?"

She pushed the case aside and turned to him, still sitting on the carpet as she leant on the sofa and looked up at him.

"The Daleks. They forced me to run the drugs to Earth. They had slaves programmed to run a campaign of terror to bring Earth to its knees and then flood the population with Blue Ice to make the planet easier to take over. I didn't want to be a part of it, but they forced me. Even now I don't know if we are safe. They could track me with this," she told him, indicating to her bracelet, "But I scrambled the signal and its still on and off so I don't think they can yet follow me."

"Oh _that_ signal,." the Doctor remarked, and then he smiled, "You mean the signal the Tardis destroyed just before we took off? I forgot to tell you about it because that massive jolt that ran through the ship was my Tardis sealing the Daleks safely back in their own dimension as I used my ship to heal the rip in time. So that leaves us free to carry on with our plans together. Am I clever, or what?"

Her jaw dropped for a moment, and then she grabbed at the bracelet.

"Help me get this thing off!"

He placed his hand on her arm and as she looked into his eyes adoringly, he enjoyed the power he now had over her – clearly, it did cancel out a great deal of the threat this woman could have posed...

"I want you to keep it on. I like it."

Missy gave a sigh.

"Just for you, Doctor. But I wouldn't do that for anyone else!"

He placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her back towards him.

"Now get on with taking that machine apart," he said softly, and he briefly kissed her, it was a kiss that made her ache for more, but then he let go of her and settled back on the sofa.

"I'm going to sleep for a while," he told her, "Don't wake me up. I hate being woken when I've been doing Blue Ice. I want you to finish taking the machine apart and then leave me to rest. Go outside get some fresh air, take in the beauty of this world. And when you get back, I _might_ be in the mood for something you've been waiting for."

Her eyes sparkled.

"I'll get on with it," she promised him, and as she continued to work on the machine, the Doctor closed his eyes, resisting the urge to smile as he felt the satisfaction of a well thought out plan starting to slide together.

* * *

The Doctor had listened as he lay there with his eyes closed as she had taken the replicator apart. Then when the task was done, he heard her get up and leave the suite. That was when the Doctor got up quickly from the sofa, and took his phone from his pocket and put out a request for an emergency call to be sent out to deep space, with the message that the Doctor required an _urgent_ connection...

He was in the bedroom when Missy returned.

She stood there in the open doorway, drinking in the sight of him on top of the covers, his shirt open as he rested against soft pillows.

"I could get used to this place!" he exclaimed, "Maybe when we've conquered a few galaxies we can buy a mansion just like this... _just for us_."

And she caught her breath as her gaze locked with his.

"Maybe I should join you now, Doctor."

"Not yet, you haven't finished."

Missy's eyes clouded with confusion.

"I did everything you asked me to do."

"Yes, I know. You took the replicator apart and I've noted all the components. _Now put it back together_."

She put her hand on her hip as frustration burned in her eyes.

"Why should I -"

"Because I'm saving myself for you, Missy. I need just a little more rest before I take you to my bed - and I really do think with your beauty and persuasiveness you can.. _.bring me back to life_ in the way that I need most. But first, the replicator?"

Missy gave a sigh.

"Okay, I'll put the thing back together. And then I want no more excuses!"

He smiled and that look he gave her made both her hearts skip a beat.

"I want you, too," he promised her, and then as she turned away and went back into the next room to reassemble the machine, the Doctor breathed a relieved sigh:

 _So far, so good..._

In an hour, the replicator was fixed.

Then Missy came into the bedroom, kicked off her shoes and walked over to the bed.

"That was quick," the Doctor remarked, "Now come and sit beside me."

Missy didn't need to be told twice. She climbed on to the bed and sat beside him, turning on her side as she shared the pillows that were soft to lean against as she looked into his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay," he replied quietly.

It was then she noticed something had changed...there was a look in his eyes she could not read...

"What is it?" she asked as all her fears of losing him went crashing about in her unstable mind.

"I was just thinking about how much trouble you've been caught up in...is this something new, or part of a pattern?"

"I've not led a good life, I'll admit that. But I'm a victim of circumstance, Doctor, trying to make the best of a bad situation. And then you came along and everything changed."

He was still looking into her eyes as he thought how very soon Missy would find out the truth.

"Where are you from?" he asked her.

"All over the place, just like you."

He laughed at that remark.

"You cant be like me. I'm a TimeLord with two hearts and my planet burned long ago."

Then as she saw sadness cloud his eyes and she placed her hand on his shoulder, he caught his breath as she slipped it inside his open shirt, tracing her fingertips over his chest.

"Mine was also lost. In that sense I can understand your pain."

Missy's touch was becoming a little too persuasive, and he tried to push away thoughts of how she was arousing him as he spoke up again.

"I was just thinking,Missy...all the trouble you've been mixed up in...if it ever caught up with you I would imagine you would be confined to a high security prison...I have no idea in which star system but some of them can be terrible places. But don't worry, I'm here now, I'm here to put things right."

" _Prove it."_

Her words had taken him by surprise.

"Okay I will," he replied, "Like I said, I'm not well enough to do what I want to do, but I can manage the next best thing."

And he pulled her closer, and as their lips touched he felt her give a sharp gasp as he slid his hand between her thighs.

As he kept her mouth trapped with his, kissing her deeply, he knew it would not take long, because with every stroke of his fingertips, she was closer to the edge. When she lost control, he pulled back from her body, sliding his hand up and over her dress before taking hold of the hem and bringing it down to cover her once more.

She was still breathless as he kissed her again, and then he shifted back from her and looked into her eyes.

"I want you to remember this," he told her, "Because it will matter to you always."

"Of course it will!" she exclaimed,"Oh, I feel _so_ alive..."

And then she stopped, as her feelings slid deeply into unmistakable love, and she was seized by the urge to confess her secret.

" _Doctor, put your hand on my chest. Feel my heart beat_. _"_

The Doctor's phone rang.

He ignored her request and answered the call, listened, and then thanked the caller.

"Five minutes," he said, and then he got off the bed, buttoned up his shirt, put on his jacket and coat and reached for his cane.

"I need you to meet me down stairs. I've arranged for a car to take us to a rental property not far from here. I've had enough of this place. I want you all to myself, where we can be properly alone to make our plans. There's no rush - I need to give the driver directions. You can bring the case."

And then he reached the door and looked back at Missy and smiled.

"See you in five," he said with a smile, and then he winked.

Missy smiled back at him as she got off the bed and turned to the mirror to fix her hair, and then he was gone.

* * *

Five minutes later, Missy stepped into the lift and hit the button for the ground floor. As the doors closed she smiled and her freshly applied lipstick shone under the bright lighting, just like the shine on her high heeled shoes seemed to bounce off it, she had smoothed the creases from her dress and sprayed her hair and now, as an afterthought, she reached up with her free hand whist the other held the case, and popped open the top two buttons on her dress,to treat the Doctor to a glimpse of her cleavage when the lift doors opened.

At last, life was working out.

They had it all planned, her and the Doctor together, replicating the replicator and spreading addiction throughout the universe.

 _What a team they would make!_

Missy decided, as soon as the lift stopped and those doors opened, she would walk over to him and give him a great big kiss...

Then the lift stopped. Missy stepped forward and the doors slid open.

 _And she was face to face with three armed Judoon..._

As they pulled her out of the lift, cut off the Dalek tracking bracelet and replaced it with heavy cuffs, she saw the Doctor nearby, he looked like he had smartened himself up, his tie was on, his suit buttoned and he certainly didn't need a cane any more...

"I thought – but what about what we just -"

"That was a parting gift," he replied, "You'll most likely spend the rest of your life in solitary confinement. I thought I'd give you something to remind you what life could have been like... with a little bit of tenderness."

Hurt and anger blazed in her eyes as the Judoon who had cuffed her led her further from the lift as a second Judoon retrieved her case.

"Be careful with that," the Doctor told him, "That's your evidence – it's covered with her prints inside and out. And look after that bracelet, you'll find it's of Dalek origin."

Missy glared at the Doctor.

"This is a sting? You set me up? Oh Doctor, what a team we could have made if you had _really_ been on my side!"

He shook his head.

"Me? On your side? Never!" he replied, and then Missy tensed as the Judoon who held her lifted the scanner and briefly activated it.

The Doctor was watching silently now, feeling that justice had now been done – the woman who had poisoned Rose would be dealt with by the intergalactic police, which was no less than she deserved...

Then the Judoon spoke up as he read out the scan results.

"Prisoner confirmed as wanted for acts of terrorism across the universe-"

The Doctor had been leaning against the wall, but on hearing that, he was up straight and stepped closer... _The whole universe?_

"What?" he said.

"Prisoner's identity is confirmed as most wanted. Name ordered to be withheld until trial for multiple offences. Listing prisoner as female, race, _Time Lord_. Planet of origin – _Gallifrey_."

" _What?"_ the Doctor exclaimed again.

But the Judoon were leading her away towards the exit, where outside a small ship was waiting to transport her back to the mother ship far away.

The Doctor broke into a run, placing his hand on the shoulder of the third Judoon who followed behind the others as they reached the exit.

" _Wait!"_

The Judoon turned back.

"Please," the Doctor begged, "There's been a misunderstanding...she's from Gallifrey, the only other of my kind who still lives... I _must_ speak to her...I want to help her -"

"This matter is closed," the Judoon replied, "The prisoner will be processed and taken for trial the case is a complicated one and will be held in secrecy. This is now a matter only for the Judoon and those who seek justice relating to her many crimes."

" _But she's from Gallifrey!"_

The Doctor's dark eyes widened as he looked back to the alien cop pleadingly.

"I didn't know she was of my race. Now I do, it changes so much -"

"The matter is closed," the Judoon replied, and then he turned away and marched off to catch up with the others.

The Doctor stood there on the steps of the hotel, powerless to stop them as Missy was taken inside the ship, and then the door closed and the ship fired up and rose into the sky and then out of sight, as it headed for space beyond.

Sorrow shaded the Doctor's eyes at what now felt like a hollow victory.

" _Who are you, Missy?"_ he said quietly, as his hearts felt heavy at the knowledge that his question would never have an answer now...

But the ship was gone, and so was the woman from Gallifrey.

And the reason for all he had done mattered far more than even the thought that another of his kind still lived - that reason was Rose Tyler, and he needed to get back to her.

* * *

It was a bright and warm morning on Earth and Rose had woken feeling wonderful. Even the memory of the explosion and all that had followed seemed faded. She had no need to long for the Blue Ice because the stuff the Doctor had given her had worked - it had killed her withdrawal stone dead,. Leaving her feeling alive once more...

"But are you sure you feel okay?" Jackie had asked as Rose had put on her denim jacket and headed for the door.

She looked back at her mum and smiled, and her eyes sparkled brightly as she thought of the man she loved.

"The Doctors not back yet. That means he's back very soon – I want to go out, I want to be there when the Tardis lands!"

It was then her mother remembered something.

"Oh Rose, I almost forgot – the Doctor gave me a note. He said to give it to you when you woke up."

Rose took the folded note.

"Thanks," she said, "I'll read it on my way down...see you later, mum!"

And then she hurried off towards the stairs, making her way down, where she would wait for the Tardis to land in the estate.

* * *

When she reached the outside, Rose looked up at her mum's flat, smiled and waved, and then she walked on slowly, looking about as she listened for the sound of his returning Tardis. Then Rose stopped walking, and opened up the note and began to read:

 _Dear Rose,_

 _Always remember I would never think badly of you for what happened. The code for the antidote is guarded and can only be passed from one survivor to another. That's how I knew the code. It was handed to me when I needed to break free of my own addiction many centuries ago, back when I was young and foolish and had no concept of a drug I couldn't handle. The code that made the antidote is 3-8-1 which also translates as:_

 _Three words, eight letters, one meaning (I love you)._

 _P.S. Will you marry me, Rose Tyler?_

And as Rose laughed in delight, the air was filled with the sound of the returning Tardis as in front of her, the blue box materialised, then the engine's whine faded out and the Tardis landed.

The Doctor opened the door and stepped out and Rose threw her arms around him as she held his note in her hand.

" _Yes!"_ she exclaimed, and then she kissed him.

"Yes you will?" he asked as he briefly pulled back.

"You _know_ I will!" Rose said, and his face lit up with a warm smile, he kissed her again, then took her by the hand, and led her inside and closed the door.

Moments later the air was filled with the sound of the Tardis departing, and from her flat, Jackie Tyler stood and watched as the Tardis faded from sight as the Doctor and Rose left Earth together, off on another adventure.

And she smiled as she looked to the place where the Tardis had stood, because this time she really wasn't worried at all:

 _Of course Rose was safe, the Doctor would look after her._

 _He would always keep her safe, now and forever – because he loved her..._

End


End file.
